Episode Report Card Erin: B- | 1 USERS: B YOU GRADE IT Pssst. Lauren's evil. Pass it on.
By Erin | Season 3 | Episode 18 | Aired on 04.10.2004
Elephant Manor. We're in the bedroom as Moronen's taking off her earrings. Vaughn enters. She says that she's looking forward to a nice weekend alone. So is he. Oh, wait. Did she mean "alone with her"? Because that's different. No, then. He's not looking forward to a nice weekend alone. Not if she's involved. Moronen moves off to the cabinet where she obviously stores her clothes and starts undressing. "So, what did you do while I was gone?" asks Vaughn. Moronen turns and walks toward Vaughn in slo-mo. She moves over to him and plants a kiss on his lips. "I missed you," she says. "I'm going to run a bath." Ow. What was that? Ow! OW! Jesus! What am I, Omarosa? What's the -- oh. Anvils. Anvils are falling from my ceiling. Man. I knew that this show was just chock-full of anvils, but they've never actuall-- OW! Goddammit! I get it, okay?! I GET IT. Don't hurt me anymore. I have a hot Scotsman coming over! I don't need any lumps on my head. Or body! OW! LAUREN IS IRINA! WE GET IT! God.
Moronen moves off to the bathroom as Vaughn looks after her with a ring of suspicion curling around his head. Duh, dude. She's evil. LOOK INTO IT. Or I'll throw an anvil at your head. Vaughn finally wakes up and starts going through Moronen's stuff. He starts with her purse, I believe. And finds nothing. Then he moves to her clothing cabinet. He digs through drawers. Nothing. Then he moves to the closet. He spies her suitcase. He pulls it down and puts it on the floor. He opens it. It's empty. He feels along the sides and removes a false piece. Beneath it? The red and black wig from the Berlin cyber goth bar. And beneath that? A gun. And some passports. Okay. Well, I think we have it confirmed now. Syd is no longer the Worst. Spy. Ever. Moronen is. Because, dudes? That wig should have been dumped in a Berlin dumpster. And the gun? Should have been placed in a weak floorboard. And the passports? Hello? Shredder. Like, what? Am I dealing with amateurs here?
Also? They could have just put a big ol' kohl eyeliner in there, worn down to the nub, and a mushy stick of red lipstick, and the reveal would've been about the same. We get it. Lauren's eeeevil. Now, let's hope that Vaughn gets it and GETS ON WITH IT. Because I don't know how much more of this I can take.
Next on Alias: Vaughn gets payback. And David Carradine returns. Hoo-ha!