Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | 63 USERS: A YOU GRADE IT An Airbag Saved My Life
By Jacob Clifton | Season 5 | Episode 8 | Aired on 11.17.2013
Alicia: "I know! So time is of the essence!"And with that, they are sent on a round-robin to every court in the land, standing with the Board of Immigration Appeals, who sends them to an immigration judge for an asylum claim who sends them to get a boot for Hawkeye so they can trade it for a picture of a horse for the Colonel so he will let them have a pizza party, and so on, and then backwards up the chain again. With ten hours until Tomas Ruiz walks out of a bus and into a nightmare of poor hospitality.
GOV OFC
Eli: "I am very angry and stompy!"
Natalie: "Even when I show up?"
Eli: "No. You get the jack o' lantern of my unpracticed face creeping into its first smiles."
Natalie: "I brought you dried apricots from the shoppe downstairs, because I have no idea what I am doing or why. Do not eat them."
Eli: "Okay, but I will and they will taste delicious. Bye."
Then he goes running out to chase her down, again, and gives her a speech that if they don't do this, they'll never get the chance to do it again.
Eli: "I'm not a running-after-people sort."
Natalie: "I not a buying-gross-dried-apricots sort."
Eli: "Who ever would be? They are like ears. It's like eating an ear."
Marilyn Chambers can sense Eli's happiness rising from the depths like the Kraken and knows that she must end it, at any cost. Also, she has a brain for faces and Natalie Flores's face is memorable anyway, so now she knows why Eli defied her about the redistricting speech, and suddenly a thing that was none of her business becomes twice the amount of none of her business. Usually I like Marilyn Chambers because she is weird and can't even put on a jacket right without weirding it up, but this episode she's not even a person, just a Marilyn Chambers-spouting Marilyn Chambers barf-machine.
SPEAKING OF BARF MACHINES
Tattoo: "Who's Alicia?"
Will: "I'm sorry, were you not aware that you are a rebound jump-off? I'm the self-destructive risk taker, you're the walking cliché of daddy issues and self-hatred? Did we not...?"
Tattoo: "Oh right, right. My bad. Your coworker David Lee is by far the worst, PS."
7.5 HRS
AUSA Dolan: "It has become personal, apparently, which is why I am now trying to block this asylum claim that is literally about providing Ruiz asylum from me being a dick."