Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | 63 USERS: A YOU GRADE IT An Airbag Saved My Life
By Jacob Clifton | Season 5 | Episode 8 | Aired on 11.17.2013
Carey: "Polish the floors and leave everything else whatever, Ikea, like a bowl of fruit and a mini-fridge of energy drinks, call it a day. Neil Gross still won't love the hipster startup thing, but most old people are by and large stupid enough to buy it."Alicia: "He's right. I fucking love this."
Natalie: "Oh, this is a hip new startup? Just kidding, it looks like a murder here."
Alicia: "We'll get some beanbag chairs and lava lamps or something. A half-pipe? Whatever is cool, I mean. A poster of The Matrix. Bitcoins."
Natalie: "Anyway, I need your help with a snitch visa. The prosecutor is up my guy's ass to take the deal, because he's mid-trial and the guy's a flight risk..."
Alicia: "So this is happening right now? In realtime? Tomas Ruiz, you say?"
Natalie: "I knew him in school. I went to Xavier's Academy For Exceptionally Old Men."
Alicia: "The defendant is um, Lalo Hierra. Won't we all be brutally killed by the Latin Kings or something?"
Natalie: "Yes."
Alicia: "And you can't pay us anything."
Natalie: "Correct."
Several feet away, the partners at Florrick/Agos discuss the case in loud voices. The thing about an open-concept law office is that it's maybe the only thing stupider than a law office entirely made out of glass walls. Just puttin' it out there.
Alicia: "No, he can't pay. He's undocumented, he owns a body shop."
Carey: "This time we can do pro bono."
Cary: "Are you crazy?"
Carey: "No, I'm aware that Natalie Flores works for a New York lobbyist named Joe Pallotta who controls $90M in client billing and has zillions of contacts."
Alicia: "You guys, it's our first new client!"
Boys: "Yay! Yay for clients."
Carey: "Hey Cary, I was talking to Clarke Hayden..."
Cary: "About me? What did he say about me?"
Carey: "The usual. But uh, he said we need to cut payroll, at least one FTE..."
Cary: "We promised. We said Come out on this limb, we can't then jounce the limb."
Carey: "Burn one person or burn everybody, though. Who was the last in?"
Robyn, whispering quietly, in hiding: "...Robyn Burdine."
Oh, her sad sad face. I didn't even know she did sad! But you know what, she does, and even more, it's the saddest sad of all sads. I guess when you're Robyn Burdine you gotta pay for your backwards pizza and ice cream sandwiches and Bioré strips and whatever else she eats.