Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | 63 USERS: A YOU GRADE IT An Airbag Saved My Life
By Jacob Clifton | Season 5 | Episode 8 | Aired on 11.17.2013
Eli: "That is stupid and I need to know why, because this redistricting amendment has legs, and I should have remembered that in the first place."Peter: "So this isn't about anything or anybody else? No traveling pants were harmed in the making of this decision?"
Eli: "...I will punch a pregnant woman. I will do it without thinking twice."
Eli: "Listen, Cesar Milan, next time you want to correct my behavior? Come to me."
Marilyn: "What? Pop-Tarts! I'm really pregnant. I'm pregnant all over this bitch!"
Eli: "I am so motherfucking sick of your motherfucking pregnancy."
And also, how is this a job? How is her full-time job just this, just sticking her arms in her pants where legs go and wandering around sticking her nose in? I think Ethics has a case of mission creep, that's what I think. I think it started with Ethics and ended in a strange form of OCD where instead of looking at paperwork, ledgers, accounting -- the place where corruption actually happens -- she's more interested in wherever everybody's boner is at.
"Where's your boner at? None of my business? Cool. Another day's hard work done."
LESS THAN 2 HRS
Dolan: "We realize that the blood feud thing is like, Sicilian or the Eastern Bloc. Right?"
Alicia: "Oh, I thought we were favoring the word over the spirit of the law when it suits us. Are we not doing that anymore? My bad."
Dolan: "But they don't hate him because he's a Ruiz, they hate him because he..."
Alicia: "Say it!"
Dolan: "I almost did, I almost said it. That was close. Your Honor, they hate him because he almost snitched, but then didn't. If this LC bullet is real, which wouldn't it be, that's the only reason."
Alicia: "Fine, then we want a T visa because his family was the victim of a crime, witness intimidation."
LeGros: "Bob Dylan says you need an immigration caseworker next."
Caseworker: "So the chain of custody is, Mrs. Ruiz got it and called Cary, and Cary drove there. Okay, but I can only get from there to a visa for Mrs. Ruiz and her son, since they were the victims."
Cary: "Sophistry! It was a warning for the whole family!"
Caseworker: "Yeah, but he was already out of Illinois, I mean, it was over. These are the rules, this is what I can justify giving you."
Cary: "Stop following the rules and do whatever I say! FASCIST! Amerikan fascist!"