Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | 63 USERS: A YOU GRADE IT An Airbag Saved My Life
By Jacob Clifton | Season 5 | Episode 8 | Aired on 11.17.2013
Alicia: "He is totally persecuted, though! Not by just you, Assistant US Attorney, but also like, by life."Cary: "I have a report that says snitches are a bona fide minority that faces persecution. Especially in Mexico. They get stitches. Often in ditches, Your Honor."
Dolan: "Why would they shank him for being a snitch when he never actually snitched?"
Alicia: "SOPHISTRY!"
I love it when she accuses people of sophistry because it's isometric to calling them a dick, in that you will never accuse someone of semantics or sophistry without them also being a dick in the first place, so whenever she says it there's a little asterisk of her playground-tattling on the person, for being a dick. "Your Honor, AUSA Dolan is acting totally fake!" And in this case, even though Dolan is being a fake dick, Judge Bob Dylan still has to be like, "[Old people joke I don't understand.]"
Will: "Natalie? It's Will Gardner. My partner here at LG racisted you yesterday?"
Natalie: "It's okay because my new firm is doing a bang-up job."
Will: "Really? Because they are operating out of a bathroom sink, while I have the ultimate power that comes with moral relativism."
Natalie: "Now that you mention it, Alicia is getting spanked. I'll meet with you, but that's it."
Will: "Tattoo Girl, you and your diseases are good luck. In some ways."
Tattoo: "That is not the first time I have heard that."
Will: "Not all the ways, but some of them for sure."
SWEET F/A
F/A: "I wish Tomas Ruiz was gay. Or transgendered. Or politically subversive."
Cary: "I know! I wish his life was way harder than it already is."
Carey: "What about a blood feud? Something between the Ruizes and the Hierras? It's a tiny little loophole that can work for us, because of racism. I mean, who knows what really happens in Mexico? Do any of us, really?"
Robyn: (Swoosh, without a word. Off to manufacture a blood feud.)
Cary: "Have you noticed that everyone's changing?"
Alicia: "Yeah."
I really wanted him to be like, "Robyn's really reminding me of somebody but I can't think of who" and Alicia to be like, "Yeah, me neither. More wine?"
GOV
Marilyn: "I'm concerned about Eli."
Peter: "Uh, yeah. He's evil? It's fine."