Episode Report Card Demian: B- | 1 USERS: A YOU GRADE IT Wiccaning II: The, Um, Wiccaning, Actually
By Demian | Season 7 | Episode 3 | Aired on 09.25.2004
Pass your petty jealousies to darkest night:
Let these feuding siblings no longer fight.
Sky-blue clouds of sparkly mojo erupt from the kids to shoot up towards the ceiling, where they sort of commingle and glow above the adults' heads. Victor gazes up with a hint of amazement, but Grams warily eyes the cloud as if something's not quite right. "Shouldn't those stop now?" Raige frowns as an edgy Piper wonders if her grandmother recited the correct spell. The moment Phoebe blunders into the nonexistent room to gripe about Sparklies, the cloud splits in three and dives into the Glamorous Ladies, who immediately regress about twenty-five years each for some reason. Just go with it. It's always so much easier if you just go with it. "[Sparklies] is such a jerkface!" Phoebe shrieks. "You so like him!" Raige teases. "I do not!" Phoebe protests. "Do too!" Piper snots. "Why don't you just marry him?" "Why don't you marry [the Dolt]?" Phoebe childishly counters. "Because I already did, STUPID!" Grams, Victor, and I are horrified. As the bickering increases in volume -- measured both by the number of words spilling from the gals' mouths and by those words' ability to make my ears bleed -- the Psycho darkly eyes his arguing elders. The suspiciously Dolt-like dark demonic force from the pre-credits sequence flashes into the room and silently stalks up to the Psycho from behind. He reaches down to touch the Psycho's head, but the Psycho's force field automatically erupts, knocking the demon backwards into a pile of trunks. "Girls!" Grams shouts. "He's here! Piper, blast him!" The addled granddaughter in question takes one look at the demon, screeches in fright, and flees the attic, followed closely by her sisters. Grams, thinking fast, telekinetically flings a handy athame at the intruder's chest, but again, he flashes out before any damage can be done, leaving the athame to embed itself harmlessly in the wall. "Any more great ideas?" Victor snarks. Grams growls her way into the commercial break.
The Mountain? Bloooooooows. Poor Baron von C.
Manor Foyer. Aftermath. The still-bickering Ps descend the stairs, and I gotta tell you, as wacky Wiccan hijinks go, these are pretty damn stupid, so let's cut to the chase: Ignoring Grams's insistent and repeated orders that no one leave the house until she reverses the spell, Raige issues a spitefully sassy "sayonara" and orbs off to points unknown. Phoebe, meanwhile, clomps her way out through the front door to chase Sparklies down at the Readers' Choice Awards. Piper immediately launches into a juvenile tirade about Grams's "stupid" spells as Victor descends from above with the kids. Grams inhales sharply in disgust and hastily flips through her little black book to recite the following: