Episode Report Card Demian: B- | 1 USERS: A YOU GRADE IT Wiccaning II: The, Um, Wiccaning, Actually
By Demian | Season 7 | Episode 3 | Aired on 09.25.2004
All The News That's Fit To Fuck Me. Still not caring, but I have to admit, the combined presence of Grams, Victor, and Patty in this episode has clouded my better judgment. As a result, I'm watching this scene play out with an enormous amount of goodwill for the performers, to the point that I almost find Phoebe and Sparklies attractive as a couple. Almost. ["Fired! …Almost." -- Sars] So, the selfish bitch thanks the boyband fucktard for saving her worthless ass the day before and leaves. Nick Lachey spontaneously combusts, ridding us of his obnoxious presence for all eternity.
Or not.
Manor. Patty and her blonde highlights gaze down at the Book of Shadows up in the nonexistent attic as Victor looks on with silent concern for a moment before wondering if she's okay. She assures him she is, but adds that "leaving is always the hardest part." He makes to apologize for sucking her out of Heaven, or wherever, but she shushes him, insisting that she really wanted to be there for Tiny Gay Chris's Wiccaning. Besides, she jokes, if there's a bit of pain involved in leaving, "it's just the price I pay for being dead." Aw. Teeth! They share a moment of, I don't know, longing and regret, I suppose, before they're interrupted by the arrival of all six of the current Manor Morons. Well, five of the current Manor Morons plus the Tiny Gay Log. The gals call out for Grams, who eventually drops her incorporeal snit and arrives to grandly accept everyone's apology. Everyone, that is, save the Dolt, to whom she owes an apology of her own. "I'm sorry I thought you were evil," she carefully enunciates as Patty looks on in shock at what is, for Grams, an evidently unprecedented display of remorse. Grams quickly disabuses her dead daughter of that notion, however, when she amends, "Not that you can blame me." "That's an apology?" the Dolt stutters. "I'd take it, if I were you," Victor advises him with a twinkle in his eye.
Piper passes the Tiny Gay Log to Grams for the ceremony, then steps back to press a light, affectionate finger on the Psycho's forehead. The Psycho stares at her all, "Try that again, shrew, and you'll be eating your own hand." We get what's supposed to be a glamour shot of the actual Tiny Gay Chris, but the infant they've hired for the part looks too much like an obese old man in the throes of early-onset Alzheimer's for any glamour shot to really work. Grams cuddles the Tiny Gay Log as she recites the opening lines of a somewhat familiar spell: