Episode Report Card Demian: B- | 1 USERS: A YOU GRADE IT Wiccaning II: The, Um, Wiccaning, Actually
By Demian | Season 7 | Episode 3 | Aired on 09.25.2004
Nonexistent Attic. Piper paws through a carton of "unfortunate" clothing (cough Phoebe's cough) as her father pulls the "little black book" Grams had been seeking from another box. Grams quickly plucks the thing from his fingers with an airy thanks, leading Victor to smirk, "Don't want me looking up the old boyfriends, huh?" "They were in a much bigger book," Grams deadpans. Piper looks stricken and distressed. Hee. The current volume actually contains spells she once cast on the Ps when they were children. Daddy Dearest is predictably outraged at that bit of information, and he and Grams descend into a nightmare of bickering and recrimination until Piper wedges herself between them, pulls the book from her grandmother's grip, and quickly locates "The Spell To Resolve Sibling Rivalry." Grams instructs Piper to gather her sisters while she herself retrieves the boys, with the plan being to cast the spell before summoning the demon so the Glamorous Ladies might vanquish the latter with the Power of Three. "Great," Piper grumbles. "More magic." "Do you have any other suggestions?" Grams eyebrows. "I have a suggestion," Phoebe replies from off-screen as the scene cuts over to...
...All The News That's Fit To Fuck Me and Slampiece Sparklies and not caring! Turns out the Readers' Choice Award "Ask Phoebe" won was for a Sparklies column. IN YOUR FACE, HAG!
Nonexistent Attic. Raige orbs in from Not!warts with the dead-eyed Psycho to fluster something tedious about her work responsibilities; Daddy Dearest with beaming grin eagerly moves to greet his other grandson. Hmmm. What, I wonder, would be the correct variation on the term "cockblocking" to describe what happens next? For the attempted embrace is indeed ruled incomplete when Grams bodychecks Victor off to the side, the better to lead the Psycho over to Tiny Gay Chris's bassinet for the spell. How rude! And how delightful at the same time! Heh. There follows a bit of dialogue about Piper agreeing to the Wiccaning as a result of the continuous onslaught "of new family members every five minutes" before Grams eyes the kids and asks rhetorically, "Are you two finally ready to get along?" Tiny Gay Chris wiggles around gleefully as the Psycho twiddles his fingers and pouts in barely suppressed wrath and resentment. Grams flips her little black book open to the appropriate page and, being more than a bit smug about the whole thing in that way we love so much, reads the following spell aloud: