Episode Report Card Joe R: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Forget The Alamo
By Joe R | Season 6 | Episode 6 | Aired on 02.05.2007
So here we go. Are you ready? Really tall guy in a t-shirt! ("...Other door.") An Asian girl and a black guy! ("...Other door.") Salt N Pepa singing "Push It" on the soundtrack! ("...Other door.") Faceless guy in powder blue! ("...Other door.") Cute white dude with unruly hair! ("...Other door.") Red mini-dress atop leggings! ("...Other door.") Tall, effeminate guy in a sportcoat! ("...Other door.") Overly-processed gay boy drama queen! (Simon: "Oh, for fuck's sake.") Tashawn Moore! Who all of a sudden has a golden ticket? When and how did that happen?* ("...Other door...other door...other door.") Alvin and the Chipmunks guy! ("...Other door.") Perla Meneses! ("...Other door.") Paula: "That's gonna be the theme for the entire season. 'Other door, other door, other door.'" It always scares me so much when Paula and I are thinking the same thing. Simon Other Doors himself in front of awful Brandy in Birmingham and they both have a laugh about it. Orange plaid shirt guy! ("...Other door.") Fauxhawk Ilan Hall look-alike! ("...Other door.") Paula's got her arm around a giantess with hair like the Goblin King, and Simon gets to say, "Other door, Paula," which makes his day. Randy cackles like a girl. Then this girl with dyed-red hair grabs her golden ticket, hits the locked door at full speed, and even as Simon is saying, "...Other door," she plows right through it and into the hallway. We've found the Chosen One! That was honestly the most enjoyable three minutes I have ever spent watching this show. Kudos.
*Actually, somebody on the boards offered a sensible hypothesis that Tashawn's endless fuck-uppery on "Kiss" was while she was filming her "all the weird people sing the same song" episode-ending montage, which as we know is filmed before the judges even get to see them. So I guess Tashawn was able to shake that off and give an audition good enough to earn her a golden ticket. Which is awesome, because I loved her. Dress to impress, Tashawn! That tie does just your justice!
The residual good feelings of the "Other Door" montage look to continue, because next up, we have Akron and William. They're cousins. Akron is the slimmer one with a pleasant face, khaki pants, and bad teeth. William is the huskier of the two, swathed in baby blue (and a matching cockeyed cap), baggy jeans, and wearing giant shades and gianter headphones around his neck. They engage in some playful scripted bickering out in the hallway, and Akron dubs himself "Bruce Banner" and William "The Incredible Hulk." William growls and is generally your grandma's worst nightmare about kids today come true. For now.