Episode Report Card Demian: D+ | 1 USERS: C YOU GRADE IT The Short And Unhappy Marriage Of Raige Matthews-Mitchell
By Demian | Season 8 | Episode 18 | Aired on 04.22.2006
Manor. Aftermath. Raige orbs into the main hall with Piper and Ssssecretly Evil Chrissssty, and the rampant howling and bitchery recommence, until Chrissssty stomps out the front door while snarling that the Manor Morons need to stay the hell away both from her and from her maggoty-necked retard of a sister. Piper and Raige sigh and fret about the whole ridiculous situation for a bit -- with Piper pointedly placing her cunning little carrying case on the side table in the foyer -- before Piper proposes another round of Book abuse just as the Manor's phone rings. Piper disappears up the stairs as Raige grabs the cordless to fill Phoebe in on recent developments. Before Raige can delve into the details, however, the call waiting pings, so she switches lines to find her husband on the other end. Darling Henry is, of course, adorable ("Are you mad at me? Did I do something that I don't know I did?"), and the whole jumping-between-phone-lines, ooops-it's-not-Phoebe-it's-Henry shtick is cutely done, but seriously. I DO NOT CARE ABOUT RAIGE'S SUDDEN IDENTITY CRISIS. Long story short, Raige begs Darling Henry for a little time to unscramble her addled brains, then asks Phoebe if she could borrow Stoop for a bit of relationship counseling. The screen flares white, and we're once more thrown into...
...Not!warts, where Openly Evil Chrissssty's bellowing at the ceiling for Creo. He presently squiggles in, and the two settle on one of the Library's sofas to hash out tonight's Nefarious Demonic Plot For Retard Domination. Basically, Creo's to capture the missing Noxon demon before he can do any more damage, while Chrissssty's to use her Piper-inflicted injury to convince The Ultimate Maggot Neck that the Manor Morons do not have the Jenkinses' best interests at heart. Next!
Jondar's Lair. Pator's tethered to the floor again, and there follows yet another lengthy scene between the two demons during which we learn neither anything new nor anything of particular interest. We do, however, get an awesome vanquish. Jondar's lair, you see, is littered with smoldering fumaroles spaced randomly across the floor. At the appropriate moment, Pator boots Jondar in the chest, sending his captor flying backwards through the air to land flat on his back atop one of the smoky cones, which immediately burns a hole straight through the decomposing demon's torso. A geyser of steam billows upwards through the gaping wound for a moment before Jondar bursts into a Waste-Land-bound cloud of flames and chunky demonic bits, howling all the way. Wicked cool. Meanwhile, its master now vanquished, the tentacle lashing Pator to the floor glows red for a moment before shattering into a pile of orange embers. Pator pushes himself to his feet and flees. The screen flares white once more to shoot us on over to...