Episode Report Card Erin: C | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT The Bitch Is Back
By Erin | Season 3 | Episode 6 | Aired on 11.01.2003
Conference Room of Endless Expositions. Marshall's once again annoying the shit out of me. I'm sorry. I know everyone loves him and I really love him too, but he's getting about three times the screen time Jack does in this episode and that just pisses me the hell off. Okay, Lange's tooth? It's actually got a radio frequency identification chip inside it instead of a filling. "Uh, Flinkman?" says Sean. "Know what'd be great? ENGLISH." Hee. My love for Sean knows no bounds. Marshall goes on to do more Mar-shtick, but once he's done, we're supposed to understand that whatever Lange had in his tooth actually acted as a sort of QuickPass thingy. That pretty much means his tooth allowed him to open up some high-security door or case, and behind that door or in that case was the magic missile-launching device or whatever.
Syd's all, well, we have to assume that the Covenant already knows where the device is, and frankly, they could have the damn thing in their possession as we speak. She realizes that Sloane's their Covenant connection, and rightly assumes that there's a plane to Zurich waiting for her. After the briefing, Killjoy drafts some computer jockey into analyzing the digital recorder for the voice of Lazaramanillow's killer. Yes, it's a useless scene, but thankfully, it's over relatively quickly. Then we're off to Zurich for another session of Inappropriate Touching and Rambaldi Juice Suckage with Satan Sloane.
Syd stomps in; after getting off his wireless earphone, Sloane warmly greets her and says how glad he was to hear that Syd agreed to be his handler. Syd's all, it was an assignment, dickweed, not an agreement. "The way a janitor doesn't agree to clean a toilet," she sneers at him. Nice. And ew. She goes on to tell him that, as his handler, she rules him now. He does what she says, when she says; she controls him. "Is that what you let Vaughn do?" he asks, pouring himself yet another glass of Rambaldi Juice. "Control you?" She ignores this remark. Then, for those of us who stuck our fingers in our ears and went "la la la la la la" for the past thirty minutes, thereby missing the general thrust of the episode, Syd goes on to repeat the entire Covenant chasing the Russian device thingy plotline. Oh, goody. That's another minute I don't have to recap.
Syd tells Sloane that the Covenant has an access code to the vault that houses the device, and that Eduardo Sark and Francinator know where this vault lies. It's up to Sloane to find out what the location is. Sloane's all, oooh, Francinator…I've been wondering when she'd resurface. He slimily pretends to care about how painful seeing Francinator again must be for Sydney. She coldly ignores his smarminess and orders him to set up a meeting with Augustus Sark and Francinator, tell them their travel plans have been compromised, and then offer assistance in revising their arrangements. "And pass the information on to you?" he asks. "That won't be necessary," she says with a hint of enjoyment in her voice. "You'll be wearing a wire." Heh. Sloane's all, oh, sure, and what if they discover it's a setup? Syd smiles at him in a way that totally reminds me of Irina. "Then I get to hear them kill you." Hee hee.