Episode Report Card Erin: C | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT The Bitch Is Back
By Erin | Season 3 | Episode 6 | Aired on 11.01.2003
Hey! It's that observatory thingy they used to show all the time when Vaughn and Syd met secretly during Season One. Ah, Season One. How I miss you. Unfortunately, when we close in on the park, it's Killjoy and Head who are meeting secretly, not Vaughn and Syd. Killjoy tells Head that she's no longer Sloane's handler. Head, instead of being pissed off, just tells her that this a good thing, since it frees her up to concentrate on the Lazarinio murder. Um. Why aren't they looking directly at each other in this scene? Don't they both still work for the NSC? Isn't he technically still her superior? Wouldn't it be, say, LEGAL for them to meet? I mean, LOOK AT EACH OTHER ALREADY! Yeah, it's not too OBVIOUS or anything that they're talking to each other ANYWAY. Like, they're SITTING RIGHT ON TOP OF EACH OTHER. This is just…I don't know…God. GOD.
Head tells her that the NSC has a source inside the Russian government who's going to help them out. While the source doesn't have the murderer's identity, he does have info that could lead them to the killer. Killjoy's all, um, if he's Russian, why doesn't he just hand the info over to the Russians and let them handle it? Head's all, 'cuz the Covenant prolly has people high up in the Russian government and something something something -- what? No, really. What? I totally didn't understand this part, and I had to watch it three times AND reread the captions. Oh, whatever. Killjoy gets to go on a mission of her own, and just for added shits and giggles, she can't tell her hubby about it. D'oh! Bogus Plot Device #9,916, ready and waiting!
Bedroom of Deep-Seated Marital Difficulties and Really Attractive Lingerie. Vaughn's packing for his non-secret trip. Killjoy enters in her adorable little black lacy things and starts packing for her way-secret trip. Blah blah blah, can't believe Head assigned you to a security briefing. Yada yada yada, I know, but I couldn't exactly say no, could I? Bling blam blooey, don't I have some killer abs? Flim flam flotsam, totally and did you even notice how I slipped back into a full-on Aussie accent right there? Clip clap cooler, you know, I did notice that! What the HELL, dude? Ring rang ruckus, oh, whatever, look at my boobs in this bra. And when we get back from our respective trips, we need to get away from here and make with some serious lovin', okay? And I promise to leave my OmniAccent behind.
Moscow. Or, you know, Backlot 32 at Disney. Killjoy's dressed to the nines and meeting with what looks like Patrick Bergin from that bad Julia Roberts movie, Sleeping With the Enemy. I'm convinced it's him, but he looks so bloated and creepy that I'm doubting myself. He's the Russian source, apparently, and also, apparently, work is scarce in Britain right now for aging Irish actors. Lord. So anyway, Bergin asks how a British woman wound up being an American spy. Killjoy's all, I was born in America and I grew up in Britain and my nanny was Australian and I spent summers in Mexico and winters in Florida and I HAVE NO ACCENT SKILLS WHATSOEVER. Because, see, her accent is AUSTRALIAN. It's not British, it's not American, and it's not even generic European. IT'S AUSTRALIAN. So, like, just let her BE Australian and don't shove in a line in the middle of an episode that makes her from LONDON. It makes no goddamn sense, and she could just as easily have grown up in AUSTRALIA. God. GOD.