Episode Report Card Aaron: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT American Pie
By Aaron | Season 4 | Episode 13 | Aired on 01.30.2001
Inside, however, Sid is still looking for her. Instead, she finds Skeet, and they head upstairs to Lillard's parent's bedroom to, uh, talk. Yeah, that's it. As they leave, Lillard mocks the Sid-smitten Randy with, "As if!" to which Randy replies, "Shut up, Alicia," and I have to turn my TV off and run far, far away. Where (of course) I run straight into Gale Weathers. She listens as Kenny the Cameraman delivers The Hackneyed Exposition Of The Thirty-Second Delay Necessary For The One Lame Joke That Doesn't Happen For Another Twelve Minutes Anyway. Bedroom of Non-Sexual Non-Tension. Or, Bedroom of Blue, as Sid is in all denim, and Skeet is in navy plaid. They look like something Picasso might have painted in the throes of a particularly nasty hangover. Neve apologizes for pretty much everything she's ever done, and says she's ready to have sex now. I don't even need to mention the sort of vitriolic sidebar this sort of thing would have inspired had it occurred at Kevin's (former) day job, since pretty much everyone over the age of six knows that a) you should wait until YOU'RE ready, and b) this is a total betrayal of the character of Sid as written, and is here only so Wes & Williamson can set up the next scene. Skeet bursts the stitches on my annoyance gland by announcing that "life is one great big movie." They kiss. Don't do it, Neve! Pacey deserves your V-Card way more than this guy does. Heck, even Jeremy London does (or was it Jason? And is there any difference?). Neve says she wishes she were in a Meg Ryan movie, or maybe "a really good porno," and after Three to Tango and Drowning Mona, I'd say she's about six months away from getting that wish in Poison Ivy 4: This Time She's A Screamer. More kissing, and they collapse onto the bed. Downstairs, the kids are all watching Halloween. Randy seems to possess an encyclopedic knowledge of Jamie Lee Curtis' breasts, which would make him a better fit for Rose than for Sid. That makes sense too, considering that Rose is dead and we all know Randy ain't gonna get the girl. He pops up and delivers the famous "rules" speech. Rule One: Never have sex. I brace myself for a cut to Skeet and Neve, but Wes spares me (for now). Rule Two: Never drink or do drugs. Lillard (of course) chugs his beer. Rule Three: Never say, "I'll be right back." Do I really need to tell you what happens next? Outside, Gale and Kenny watch The Footage From The Tiny Camera Of You Don't Want To Hear All That Again. Call me when all this matters (six minutes). Dewey shows, and invites Gale to check out an abandoned car with him. Maybe that should be my new line. Anyway, this scene serves to provide definitive proof that Courteney's Friend Joey was right -- co-stars that sleep together have no chemistry on-screen.Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19Next