Episode Report Card Aaron: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT American Pie
By Aaron | Season 4 | Episode 13 | Aired on 01.30.2001
Cut to Sid stepping off the school bus and heading into her house. I'm not sure what kind of Expo her Dad is going to, but that is one hell of a nice house. As Sid walks around the grounds, she makes plans to spend the night at Rose's house. Once inside, she plops down in front of the TV. Man, this house is REALLY nice. Dad must be getting some kind of Expo-related tax breaks or subsidies or something. I gotta get in on that. Anyway, Sid spots Gale Weathers on TV and watches her painfully exposit even more of the ridiculously impenetrable backstory regarding Sid's mother, which after two sequels and a half-dozen viewings of this very DVD I still don't understand. Neither does Sid, apparently, as she shuts off the TV and lies down for a nap. Mmmm, naps. The incessant ringing of a phone jerks both Sidney and myself out of our naps. She answers. I just watch. Good thing, since it's for her anyway. It's Rose, who's running a bit late. She passes along an informational tidbit that may be of interest to Tom Cruise's more ardent fans, and then hangs up. Before I can drift off again, the phone rings once more. This time it's "scary" voice guy, who trots out the old "What's your favorite scary movie?" come-on again. I'm gonna have to give that one a try. It certainly can't do any worse than my patented "chicks dig a guy who says 'hump' a lot" technique. Although Sid doesn't seem to be going for it -- she says she never watches scary movies. Sir Munch-A-Lot thinks she's too scared, but Neve comes back with the film's signature line, describing scary movies as "some stupid killer stalking some big-breasted girl who can't act, who's always running up the stairs when she should be going out the front door." Now I'm sure Kevin Williamson meant for that line to be a veritable orgy of self-referentialism, but in point of fact only two parts of that statement are true. Firstly, the killer is indeed stupid. As for the second, well, meet me in two paragraphs. Sir Munch-A-Lot moves the conversation from the awkward getting-to-know-you stage straight into the equally awkward I'm-creepy-and-I'm-on-your-front-porch stage by basically telling Sidney, "I'm on your front porch," in a really creepy voice. She decides to call his bluff and heads outside, leaving the front door wide open and unwatched. Then she picks her nose. No, really. She does it to prove that Munch can't really see her, and for the record, he should be damn glad that he can't. More blah-de-blah about the mother, and then Sidney heads back inside.Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19Next