Episode Report Card Demian: B+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Men Suck
By Demian | Season 5 | Episode 21 | Aired on 05.03.2003
"You're crazy!" Piper howls. See what they did there? Yeah, I hate it too. Piper and Grams are still arguing about the Wiccaning, and it becomes increasingly clear that Grams's anti-male bias is the real reason she's refusing to perform the ceremony. Which is a total cop-out, because it gives the writers plausible deniability should they decide to drop the potential Suspicious Done One plotline, and it's also frustratingly out of character, because Grams has long since passed from the physical world and should have the same sort of advanced understanding she's displayed previously, but whatever. I like Grams far too much to quibble, especially after the disaster we endured with those assy nymrods. And those damned leprechauns. Hell, with most of this godforsaken season. Whatever. Phoebe enters and tries to claw her way into the argument, because it's not really a proper plot point unless it's all about her, but Piper just shrills something ugly and clomps towards the stairs. Short Dick flares onto the landing and nails Piper with a dagger of orange electricity that sends her flying through the sitting room to slam face-first into a mirror mounted on the opposite wall. Short Dick flings another bolt of energy at Phoebe, but the Feebs yodels and dives out of the way. Grams prepares to flip Short Dick through the wall with a massive burst of telekinesis, but Corporeal Chris, who's silently materialized on the sun porch, flings out a little mojo of his own that drags Grams backwards into his arms. Piper, whose face has not been sliced to gory ribbons by the shattered glass, deploys a single Hand Of Discontent, and Short Dick detonates on the stairs. Smell ya later, Dick. Phoebe and Piper glance into the sun porch just in time to catch Corporeal Chris pulling a flare-and-smoke combo out of his bag of tricks to teleport himself into the commercial break with Grams.
Manor parlor. Aftermath. Raige has returned from Trudeau Memorial to help puzzle out a Necromancer vanquish. Phoebe examines the Chris entry in the Book of Shadows and remembers what Piper did not -- namely, her own scrawled notes on Cole's various entertainment preferences. "Oh. My. God," she mugs. "Grams was the Necromancer's lover!" Raige is all, "Ew!" but Piper realizes Phoebe's on to something. They bang their heads together and knock loose from the dim recesses of their minds the ghost vanquish last used on the Tasty Brothers Mandylor. Phoebe abuses the Book in search of the rhyme.