Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | 64 USERS: A- YOU GRADE IT The Busy, Wondrous Labor Day Of Alison DiLaurentis
By Jacob Clifton | Season 4 | Episode 24 | Aired on 03.18.2014
FIRST: JENNA THING
Alison: "First I flew a plane to Jenna Thing's blindness hospital, because I knew she was probably still mad we blew her up, plus she had a bonus pet cop to help her hide everything, so it was a good first guess."
Jenna: "This video of me raping my brother, it sounds pretty bad."
Ali: "Oh it looks pretty bad. So if you don't stop threatening me, I will metaphorically bury you."
Alison: "But then right when I was leaving, A texted me Bitch can't see you, but I do. Tonight's the night I kill you. I could tell A had that one locked and loaded, and it wasn't Jenna after all, but I didn't care because it was nice to make her feel gross about how gross she is. Then Jenna wasn't important again until way later, when she heard Garrett not kill me that night I kept not dying, but that's not going to come up in this story. One down."
HASTINGS
Veronica: "Mom Tree! Ella, the cops are at all our houses searching for the girls. Ashley, is Hanna also missing? Pam says Emily is missing, and that's everybody. They all took off after the fundraiser. Peter's on his way back from being a lawyer as we speak."
Gabe: "I can't chit-chat with you right now because instead of solving the disappearances of two girls I am now solving for six. Stop being a Hastings for like one second and cut a brother a break finding your kid."
Veronica: "To what end?"
Gabe: "Oh, because Alison DiLaurentis is alive, no big."
Veronica: "Huh? I feel like I'm on Spencer pills right now."
The front door opens and Veronica spins around.
Veronica: "Spencer!? ...Oh, it's just Melissa."
Melissa: "Uh, is this Opposite Day? Did you really just say that shit to me?"
Veronica: "I know! It sounded weird just coming out of my mouth."
ALISON
Alison: "So where was I? Oh, A was threatening me with death and I had only just crossed off Jenna Thing from the list. I still had like a hundred more people to blackmail that night. Time was of the essence."
Jessica was freaking out on the phone when Ali came to get her sleepover shit together for Phase II: "How could this happen? I don't understand. Is there any news? Please hurry! I'm very, very worried. Please send someone, immediately!"
Alison: "That sounds very interesting but peace out."