Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | 64 USERS: A- YOU GRADE IT The Busy, Wondrous Labor Day Of Alison DiLaurentis
By Jacob Clifton | Season 4 | Episode 24 | Aired on 03.18.2014
LOST WOODS RESORT
Mona cleaned Ali up, kind of, and she was still a zombie, because what a day. Mona got Ali the room next to her A Lair under the Vivian Darkbloom alias, and laid her in the bed, and kissed her on the forehead, and then went next door to play with her dolls and be nuts as hell.
Mona: "Man! It's like this A person is just never going to give up. They're probably a superadrenalized genius in a hyperreality. Gosh, that sucks. Maybe you should just take this opportunity to be dead and go for it. I'll help you dye your hair."
Ali: "Are you sure?"
Mona: "Nothing would give me more pleasure than to kill you. What are friends for?"
Next morning, Vivian was ready to rock. Mona brought her the supplies to get the fuck out of her life forever, and they were sweet in the mirror. Alison thought she was being nice. Just like when she showed Aria Byron and Meredith that first time, or when she kissed Emily. Maybe she was, although Hanna would feel differently.
Hanna was the first to forgive her, and the first to say goodbye. But when I think about the infinite things Alison needs to make up for, Hanna's also the first one I think of.
"Come here. Look at yourself. Ditch the glasses, and the barrettes. Have Kim at the salon do your hair, and ask for Cindy at the makeup counter. Buy everything she tells you to. Never go to school without your face on. Burn those kneesocks. Tell Mandi at the boutique that Vivian sent you. You don't have to be a loser, Mona."
It was the nicest thing she could think of. And Mona took her advice, as tainted as it was. And then she waved goodbye.
And then she took a year to get full-on psycho pretty, waiting for them to find the body and Aria to move back from Iceland, so she could destroy everybody for not being Hanna, which was the second part of the plan, I guess, after killing or disappearing Ali herself. (Notice how this also makes sense that she would go for Spencer as the most likely turncoat, during the complicated-as-hell Black Swan maneuver, based on how obviously Spencer might have killed her.)
RWPD
Melissa: "Dad, wait! You actually think Spencer killed a girl? Here is a secret whisper that is going to take the roses right out of those cheeks."
She whispers a secret whisper! Perhaps it is something best told him years ago, before he and his wife drove Spencer all the way into two separate nuthouses. But then we never would have met Dean Stavros, so I guess it turned out okay. And who could forget the thrill ride that was Marion Cavanaugh's curious death. Imagine how many administrative personnel, corporate lawyers, and retired medical professionals we might never have met.