Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | 64 USERS: A- YOU GRADE IT The Busy, Wondrous Labor Day Of Alison DiLaurentis
By Jacob Clifton | Season 4 | Episode 24 | Aired on 03.18.2014
Jessica: "You are not going out tonight, specifically. If you're going to destroy your enemies, which I support, please do it in the living room."Alison: "It is the last weekend of summer and possibly my life, please don't be a dick."
Jessica: "I'm not being a dick, I am trying to save your life from..."
Alison: "-- Whatever. I'm taking some of your sleeping pills to dose my friends."
I guess this was around the time that Alison flipped out at lunch, which makes Jessica even more interesting in retrospect, because the whole time she was being a hardass it was because she thought a person or persons was going to kill her daughter, but she was just playing it cool. "No, you can't roofie your friends in a barn tonight, sorry. No, you can't fly a plane to Georgia just to see your babydaddy (?)."
Jessica: "Also, please do not hang out with Spencer Hastings, today or ever. But especially today."
Alison: "I have that shit on lock. You told me to fight fire with fire and that is exactly what I'm doing. No more Mr. Nice Jailbait. I'm taking this to the streets."
Jessica: "I know things about that family that you don't. I've seen what they're capable of. Never turn your back on a Hastings."
Alison: "Not planning on it, dude. Later."
No idea where Jason was at this time, which seems important for the whole rest of this story. Wasn't he fucked up and asleep in the yard, along with the rest of the entire population, while various people ran up and down the stairs and yelled and didn't kill Alison, over and over? Or maybe he was just somewhere having private time watching wrestling videos on YouTube. A hobby of Jason's that I am still mystified by.
THE BARN
The girls were so scared! But Alison was just playing a gotcha spooky game, for fun and to distract them and herself from her impending brutal murder. She put all the pills in a tall glass of sumpin' sumpin', made Aria drink first so she would shut up, tossed some subtle lesbian digs at Emily, and waited for everybody to pass out so she could continue her mischief.
Then two more people showed up at the Barn that we never knew about, but that is frankly mere raindrops in the ocean of nonstop action that went down that night.
Alison: "What do you want, Toby Cavanaugh?"