Episode Report Card Owen: D | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT How To Make A Quilt Out Of Americans
By Owen | Season 2 | Episode 17 | Aired on 04.05.2000
Down the street. The Ps hide in an alley. The lazy Ps process for a bit, and decide that, to get their powers back, they need to find Cheeto before he finds them. They bolt off to prepare for the confrontation. Piper lags behind. They wonder what's the big. Piper: "I've HAD IT!" Phoebe: "With what?" Piper: "With being a witch!" Prue: "Oh."
Gas station. Cheeto walks up to the prone Young Gail. He is pissed that she "betrayed" him. YG is "glad" that the Ps got away. Cheeto melts her into ash.
Gail Manor. The Ps walk up to it from the street. Phoebe tells Piper that she can't just leave the SUV in Santa Costa. Piper will "take a cab" to get out of there. Phoebe tells her that a ride back to the San Francisco will cost a lot of money. Piper reminds her mentally-challenged sister that there's a demon in town that she's trying to avoid. Prue: "Come on." Piper has "nothing more to say." Phoebe tells Piper that if she's worried about getting their powers back, "[they] can do that -- [she has] a spell to do that." Piper declares, "I don't want my power back. This is the solution to all my problems." Prue thinks she knows "exactly what [Piper] is going through," and cites her past desire to withdraw from witchcraft due to the grief she felt over Andy's death. Piper: "No. For me, not wanting to be a witch isn't a symptom of something else, as it was for you, Prue. For me, it's the problem. It's the cause of everything. I want a life that doesn't have a lot of death in it. That's not too much to ask." Phoebe tells Piper that she "can't do this." Piper: "We're all going to do this sooner or later. I'm just doing it first." She stomps off.
Then a blonde supermodel/vagrant can't figure out how to use scissors to make her jeans into Daisy Dukes so she uses a locomotive instead.
Gail Manor. Parlor. Piper to Phoebe: "I love you. You're one of my two most favorite [sic] sisters, but I don't want to give up having a life." Phoebe whines that they're not asking her to. Piper: "Yes, you are, by asking me to be a witch." Phoebe reasons that Piper was born a witch; it's a fact. Piper notes that she didn't know about her birthright until "up to two years ago" and she was "perfectly happy" without the knowledge. She concludes, "Normal lives. I miss that. Don't you?" Phoebe: "No." Prue surprises her sisters by answering, "Yeah." She elaborates: "Well, sometimes. But you can't turn back the clock and pretend it never happened." Piper then states: "I don't want to end up like Aunt Gail . . . wishing I was young again so I can do all the things I missed out on." Prue insists that the lazy Ps won't let that happen. Don't hold your breath, Piper. The Ps all hug anyway. Phoebe characteristically baby-voices: "Jus' haylp uhs geet owa powas bak! Pweez! We kayent doo eet witowd oo!" Then Prue characteristically lays down the law: "We won't." Piper folds.
Basement. The Ps walk downstairs. They think Cheeto will show up there. Phoebe suggests that they hurry things along by summoning him. Prue reminds her that summoning "only works for spirits," as if this show had RULES ABOUT ANYTHING. Piper is carrying the pitcher of potion; she sets it down. She wonders how they'll get Cheeto to drink it without having the use of their powers. Prue: "We'll get him to use one of our powers he doesn't know about." She means Astral Prue-jection; they'll trick him into being in two places at the same time by using Phoebe as bait. Piper bitches that she's "only doing this for you guys. If I get killed, I'm going to haunt the both of you forever." Prue: "Yeah, yeah." Hee. She asks Pheebs if she has the spell. Phoebe does. Just then, Cheeto enters the manor, calling out to the Halliwells. He approaches the basement door. During the edit, Phoebe was able to hide behind him in the foyer. Whatever! She pushes him down the stairs to the cellar. The hard Ps knock a shelf on top of him. He gets up and telekinetically flings them across the room. They crouch and hide. Meanwhile, Phoebe runs to a corner of the foyer and yells, "I got it!" Prue to Phoebe: "Get the potion!" Phoebe to her sisters: "Start chanting the spell!" Cheeto, conflicted, slumps forward. Astral Cheeto appears in the foyer. Phoebe surprises him by citing his "pretty nifty power," and Alyssa's stunt double kick-boxes him from a wider shot. Downstairs, the hard Ps pour the rest of the tea pitcher down the unconscious Cheeto's throat. Astral Cheeto disappears from the foyer. Phoebe warns her sisters. Cheeto wakes up in the cellar. Phoebe joins the hard Ps. They all chant the Powers of the witches rise Hallmark Moment power transference spell. The fireflies abandon Cheeto's body and nest in the Halliwells, granting them their powers back. Piper freezes the demon. Phoebe reads the Cheeto-vanquishing spell: What witches done [sic] and then undone [sic]/ Put the spirit back within/ And separate him from his skin. Cheeto glows, and the seams in his skin suit fall apart as he disappears in a flash of light. Phoebe: "That looked like it hurt." Prue "hope[s] so, for Aunt Gail's sake." Piper adds: "And Helen and Amanda." Yeah, because I guess the coven's absolved now for all their responsibility in bringing forth Cheeto. Nice revisionist history there. Try all you want, Halliwells, but the old ladies are dead. They can't thank you effusively. Move on.