Episode Report Card Owen: D | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT How To Make A Quilt Out Of Americans
By Owen | Season 2 | Episode 17 | Aired on 04.05.2000
Halliwell Manor. Sunroom. The Ps sit on the wicker and get exposition from Gail about a demon that's been roaming through her hometown of Santa Costa. She thinks someone used magic to summon him; corpses have been dug up and skinned. She says she hasn't told the police cuz they'd think she's crazy. Piper: "Try getting your boots cleaned." Prue swats her. Gail looks perplexed. Prue: "Don't ask." Word. Let's let that lame subplot rest, please. Phoebe turns the subject back to the "psycho grave robber" and the demon. Gail thinks she remembers reading something about a demon who requires human skins in the Book of Shadows. Prue is astonished; Gail knows about the BoS, too? Gail thinks she read about this creature, it's "a demon who made people young again." She doesn't remember for sure; maybe they'd better go look in the BoS. The Ps ponder this. Something smells as fishy as the shark this show jumped at the start of the season.
Cut to Gail Manor. Amanda and Helen pick up pieces of human flesh and attach it to a partially sewn-together skin suit draped on a mannequin. They wonder if Gail will succeed at obtaining the Halliwell sisters' powers. Helen bitches that she'd "better, because the skin quilt is almost done." Hello, snack on which Owen noshed an hour ago.
Halliwell Manor. Attic. Phoebe finds a page devoted to Cheeto. Gail out-bad-actresses both Shannen and Alyssa by exclaiming in false discovery, "Cheeto! That sounds vaguely familiar!" She then adds, "Yeah, and he dated Morgan Fairchild! Yeah -- Morgan Fairchild! Yeah, that's the ticket!" Phoebe then peers carefully at the book and reads very slowly some exposition about Cheeto, "the demon of vanity," wandering around centuries ago, restoring youth and beauty in exchange for souls. Prue wonders why anyone would make that trade. Gail: "I know a lot of people who would, because of age and disease . . . myself in fact. Didn't you hear my Ominous Cough? Oops. Did I just say that out loud?" Actually, she tries to throw off suspicion by explaining that she wants to protect the elderly citizens of Santa Costa who might be preyed upon by Cheeto. Piper, to her credit, looks mighty skeptical. Phoebe tries to read from the BoS some more. Hey! It's called "Hooked On Phonics," Pheebs, you moron. You might want to . . . What's that? Oh, the eyeglasses subplot? Sorry. I got distracted by the boots subplot and forgot. Piper calls Pheebs on "squinting." Phoebe denies it. She prattles on about how Cheeto was skinned by a group of witches in an effort to prevent his potential resurrection. Prue notes that these witches were "wrong" because the BoS includes a spell to vanquish Cheeto, meaning he still has the ability to rise again. Piper reasons that to summon Cheeto, he has to be provided "a new skin." Phoebe thinks that getting rid of Cheeto should be "no problem" because the vanquishing spell is "easy." Gail asks the Ps how soon they can come to Santa Costa. Piper gives Gail the stink-eye and asks the lazy Ps for a processing summit alone. They go down the stairwell. Gail walks up to the BoS and flips the pages all treacherously.