Episode Report Card Demian: A | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Sand Francisco Dreamin'
By Demian | Season 5 | Episode 14 | Aired on 02.08.2003
...slam back into the parlor. The rapidly advancing Butchers Three dematerialize. Phoebe awakens and reveals what she's discovered about herself. "You?" Piper asks, appalled. "The killer was you?" "How narcissistic is that?" goofs the Feebs. Yeah. What I said. Several times. Sigh. The official explanation is that Phoebe's always been self-destructive. Whatever. The only issue now remaining is that pregnancy pad shoved into the Dolt's t-shirt -- an issue quickly resolved when the percolating infant boots him a couple of times from within his borrowed uterus. The Dolt gets a little emotional, the percolating infant switches back over to Piper, and the Dolt announces his intention to do the wife at her earliest convenience.
Fortunately for us all, Kenny G smears in to threaten and sneer. Piper pffts, "Wow. I completely forgot about this subplot." She shows the easy-listening demon a single Hand, and he agreeably dissolves into a spray of black goo. Raige graciously admits that she went a little overboard with the whole shower thing, and offers to shift the entire affair over to P3 so the Glamorous Ladies and their guests might enjoy the soothing sounds of tonight's guest ovary. What a delightful idea, Raige! In fact, let's head over to P3 right now!
Inside the club, the usual throng of gyrating twentysomethings grooves to the mellow beat of tonight's guest ovary. The camera slowly tracks through the crowd, eventually landing on Phoebe, Piper, and Raige, fast asleep on their reserved divan. Phoebe rests a protective hand on the pregnancy pad, Piper has a companionable arm slung over Raige, and Raige cuddles Slappy close to her heart. It's so goddamned cute!
Next week had better suck, because I can't handle good episodes. Also, The Percolating Infant becomes The Done One, at least until I can think of a better nickname for the brat.