Episode Report Card Demian: A | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Sand Francisco Dreamin'
By Demian | Season 5 | Episode 14 | Aired on 02.08.2003
Attic. Phoebe, still in her pyjamas, abuses the Book of Shadows as the Dolt orbs in behind her to ask, "What is it?" Phoebe yodels in surprise and spins around to spit, "Do not sneak up on me like that!" Because I'm enjoying this episode so much, I'll not wonder how the Dolt could "sneak up" on anyone, what with that glissading shriek that always accompanies his Blue Light Special. Fortunately, the two nitwits quickly get to the point. Phoebe wants to learn everything the Dolt knows about "tracer demons." According to the Dolt, said demons are "lower-level mercenaries able to track magical beings through different dimensions." Phoebe reveals that one of their number invaded her dream last night and sporked Henry Gibson, whom she describes as "a weird creature" "holding some kind of satchel." Hank should smack her in the teeth for that one. The Dolt opines that Phoebe's recurring nightmare is becoming more complex. Phoebe counters that, while everything started out as her usual nightmare, the sporking felt more like a premonition. The Dolt dismisses this until Phoebe reminds him that she's received dream-time premonitions before. Um. When? No, seriously -- when? If you're talking about what happened with that trampy homoerotic man-eater from Season Two, I'll be forced to note that those visions were more nocturnal meldings of smutty minds rather than proper premonitions. You do get points for continuity, but try again, hon. The Dolt blithers incredulously for a bit before Phoebe adds that she awoke to find the un-sporked Hank standing beside her bed. The Dolt caves and agrees to consult with the ever-useless Elders on the issue.
Phoebe watches him go, then turns to examine Kenny G's entry in the Book as the scene cuts to a darkened, stormy, blasted hellscape set up on a soundstage somewhere in the wilds of the San Fernando Valley. Kenny G picks his way across some rocks, past swinging "satchels" suspended from leafless trees, to meet with his goateed demonic boss. I'd give the boss a nickname, but he's not on screen long enough to merit one. The goatee berates Kenny for failing to spork Henry Gibson the previous evening. Kenny assures the goatee that he'll catch up with Hank tonight -- after all, Hank watches over a set group of people, doesn't he? So, he's easy to find. Kenny glances at the swinging satchels and jokingly asks the goatee if it uses the satchels' contents to dream. The goatee pimp-smacks Kenny across the soundstage onto a photogenic pile of withered tumbleweeds, sneering that demons don't dream. The goatee then reveals this week's dastardly demonic plan: By offing Hank and his brethren and thus preventing them from making their nightly rounds, the humans who depend upon Hank's CGI dream dust to "work through their issues" during periods of REM will suffer through night after night of dreamless sleep, allowing those issues to fester and erupt into the waking world. The afflicted humans thus become "angry" and "evil." Through all of this, the goatee hopes to attract the favorable attention of the Underworld's leaders and be rewarded for his efforts. The goatee hints at the great pain to which Kenny will be subjected should he fail once more in his assigned mission, then condescendingly asks Kenny if he understands. "Perfectly," Kenny grunts from the dirt before smearing out.