Episode Report Card Erin: A | 111 USERS: B- YOU GRADE IT Hell Hath No Fury
By Erin | Season 3 | Episode 7 | Aired on 2003.11.09
Technology Teepee. Marshall's showing Syd this mini-car thingy. He literally takes twenty years to describe what it is and what it does, and I can tell you right now, it's a stealth Matchbox car. It is. It's very cute, has some whack-ass microfilaments on the top that allows it to blend in to its surroundings, and is operated by remote control. This will apparently allow Marshall to gain access to the security system once Syd drops the stealth Matchbox car on the floor at the Chinese ministry. Syd's all, um, okay, GEEK. So, what yer sayin' is, once you disable alarms, I'll be able to access the office where the maser's being kept, yeah? Marshall's all, adslkjsdf dfoidfkewrhsdfk sdfoisdklfdsl wlekjrkl jskdjsf maser slkjdosifkdls klwej ssisdlfd sia laslk, okay? No, I'm serious. It's like a made-up language he's speaking. No, really. REALLY. I had the captions on and I still had no goddamn idea what he was talking about. As far as I could ascertain, Syd has to put some phone device on the maser or something and press "1" and Marshall will be able to corrupt the maser system or whatever and then the corrupt version of the operating system will be stored on some chip or fuck-it-all and then Syd will pass the chip onto Sloane. See? It's worse than Greek, people. It's like pig Latin Greek encoded backwards onto microfilm and then dropped in a vat of battery acid.
Beijing. As the Blue Danube plays, we make our way inside the Chinese ministry. Sloane and Syd enter, dressed to the nines. "By the way," says Sloane, completely incapable of sounding anything but sleazy, "you look beautiful." "Spare me," snits Syd, rolling her eyes. Hee hee. They go through security, and Syd's bag sets off the alarm. The Chinese guard looks through it and finds nothing. As Syd and Sloane make their way into the ballroom, Sloane tells her to take his arm, you know, just to be convincing. Syd does so, but looks like she's making a mental note to douse her arm with Clorox and then burn off the first and second layer of epidermis with a blowtorch as soon as this damn party's over.