Episode Report Card Erin: A | 111 USERS: B- YOU GRADE IT Hell Hath No Fury
By Erin | Season 3 | Episode 7 | Aired on 2003.11.09
Sam? Honey? Hear that? It's time for the Alias dance. Oh! That's good, sweetie! Ow! OW! Okay, Regina doesn't BEND that way, sweetie. No, really. NO! Go dance with Julio! He's very bendy. How do I know that? You know what? Just…trust me on this, okay?
Oops Center. Jack walks in and immediately corners Vaughn, commenting that he heard Vaughn's been drafted by the NSC. Jack goes on to say something about how Chavez y Chavez was apprehended down in Mexico. Jack's all, I assume you remember this guy as part of the team that your ex-girlfriend infiltrated. Vaughn's all, um, yeah, vaguely. HE ONLY TRIED TO KILL ME. Jack says that Chavez has agreed to trade info with the NSC in exchange for leniency. Only prob? Yeah. The whole Lazarenotheodopolous murder and how Syd's the one who did the murdering. Jack thinks it'd be a great idea if Vaughn told Killjoy that he, Vaughn, knows Chavez and that this fact compromises both him and his wife, thereby making it necessary to remove themselves from the assignment.
Vaughn's all, oh, sure! That's a GREAT idea! Lemme get this straight. Are you asking me to interfere with my wife's investigation? Jack's all, yeah-huh. Vaughn's all nuh-uh, dude. I've been lying to my wife long enough, and my forehead wrinkles are getting wicked tired. Jack's all, dude? If the NSC finds out about Syd, they might…uh…they might…the collective viewing audience at large hollers, "SUBJECT HER TO INVASIVE BRAIN SURGERY!" Before Jack can explain the INVASIVE BRAIN SURGERY in detail to his would-be son-in-law, Vaughn tells him to shut it. They snap back and forth at each other, both of them kind of right and kind of wrong. I mean, really. Someone, somewhere, sometime is gonna find out about Syd, okay? Whether Jack likes it or not. And pulling Vaughn and Killjoy from the assignment may buy them a bit of time, but not, like, super-eons or anything. So let's wrap up this little tête-à-tête and get the motor running, okay?
"Look," says Vaughn, "I think it's safe to say, I know my wife a lot better than you do." "I would hope," says Jack with a delicious sneer. Hee. Vaughn sort of cocks his head at him like, "Dude? Don't be disrespecting my woman, okay?" Then he just goes on to say that Killjoy might be their best chance for keeping the info from the NSC. Jack's all, oh, silly naïve Mr. Vaughn. What if you're wrong, dear boy? Vaughn totally has no response to this, which only makes Jack's pursed lips even pursier. If that's even a word.