Episode Report Card Gustave: B | 1 USERS: A- YOU GRADE IT It's one o'clock -- do you know where your Kiefer is?
By Gustave | Season 1 | Episode 2 | Aired on 11.12.2001
Back at Palmer's headquarters, Theo Huxtable is still drooling over getting to meet Green Day. The Secret Service detail knocks at the door. They have something important to discuss with Palmer. Mrs. Cosby goes to get him, but he's not in his room and Patty doesn't know where he is either. Upon hearing that Palmer is "exposed," the Secret Service gears up and starts trying to trace his car. Mrs. Cosby asks what's going on. The Secret Service explains about the assassination attempt.
Meanwhile, Palmer is in the hotel parking garage. Not a good sign. Scary things are always happening in parking garages. There are all those pillars and cars for snipers and rapists to hide behind. Every time a scene takes place in a parking garage, it's never a good thing. Where did Glenn Close pour acid on Michael Douglas's car? A parking garage! Where was Dr. Melfi on The Sopranos raped? A parking garage! I could go on and on. Fortunately, nothing bad happens. Palmer gets into his SUV and drives away. The time is 01:48:52 AM.
At 01:53:09 AM, the screen splits into four panels revealing (clockwise from upper left) David Palmer in the renegade SUV, Kiefer and Walsh waiting for a garage door to open, Mr. York and Bride of Kiefer having a moment, and The Purple Van Of Teen Impertinence zooming along on its merry way. The garage door opens for Walsh and Kiefer, so they run out. Just as they're about to break free, Walsh is shot. Walsh dies before Kiefer can get him to his car, but not without handing Kiefer the key card and explaining its significance. He tells Kiefer to give the card to Jalapeno, because Deep Throat Jr. says she can be trusted. "Find the owner of the key card," says Walsh with his dying breath. "And you'll find the dirty agent." Kiefer trades gunfire with the snipers some more and then drives away in the Kiefmobile…really really fast. Once far from the crime scene, he calls Jalapeno Spice from the Kiefmobile Kar Phone and tells her to call someone to go back and pick up the bodies of Walsh and the Snipers. Jalapeno Spice is about as concerned as your average secretary whose typing pool buddy just called in sick. But Kiefer has more to discuss. He tells her to get ready to identify a key card for him when he gets back to the office. Jalapeno, whose hair has gone full-on Valerie Bertinelli circa 1983, informs Kiefer that she can do that over the phone. Apparently Kiefer has a scanner in his car that enables her get the info from him over the cell line. Was that necessary? Do these agents really have key card scanners in their cars? What the hell for? Well, other than the obvious answer: there's only a couple of minutes left in the episode and Kiefer can't drive back to CTU in real time in order to find out who the rogue agent is.