Episode Report Card Demian: B | 0 USERS: N/A YOU GRADE IT Sex And The Single Dolt
By Demian | Season 6 | Episode 16 | Aired on 2004.02.22
Not!warts. Gideon enters his study to find Raige and Phoebe waiting for him. The gals babble out a brief and incoherent recap of recent events, and ask for his help. Gideon chooses instead to speechify about what a moron the Dolt is for remaining on Earth after his promotion. Raige cuts through the crap to note that they know where the portal is; they just don't know how to reverse it. Gideon strides over to a nearby table, rummages around for a moment, and returns to present them with a book open to an entry entitled, "Everything You Wanted To Know About Portals But Were Afraid To Ask." I want to die. "Handy," Raige perks. Shut up, Raige.
The Ghastly Plane, the next morning. A post-coital yet mercifully clothed Dolt stands at the mouth of the alley, waiting for me to amble on in to finish the job, I suppose. Piper, curled up in a corner behind him and employing her jacket as a makeshift blanket to disguise the fact that Holly Marie Combs is, by now, four hundred and seventy weeks pregnant, wakes up and greets him. The Dolt attempts to initiate the mandatory awkward post-Crisis-Sex apology, but Piper cuts him off, insisting she has no regrets about what transpired the previous evening. The Dolt smiles and agrees with the whole no-regrets thing, then plonks himself down by her side to launch into a very, very long monologue that basically amounts to "And I-eeeee-IIIIIIIIIIIII! Have always loved you-oo-oo-oo-oo!" It's endless, and pains me deeply. At some point, he manages to squeeze in the fact that because he's now accepted his destiny as an ever-useless Elder, he's dumping her again. Romance! Hey, don't look at me. You people are the ones who wanted these two to get back together. Brad Kern just gave you what you asked for.