Episode Report Card Gustave: A- | 0 USERS: N/A YOU GRADE IT Sliced Jalapeno
By Gustave | Season 1 | Episode 9 | Aired on January 21, 2002
Back at CTU, Soul Patch and KuffedSpice are in the archives room alone together, having a little "Spanish Inquisition" of their own. Soul Patch reminds her how much damage she did by cooperating with Gaines. Jalapeno brings out the violins about being a single mother with a job where she works twice as hard as everyone else but gets paid half as much. But when she admits that Gaines bought her services for the low, low price of $300,000.00, Soul Patch tells her in Spanish that she's a disgrace. Nina enters and orders Jalapeno to get Gaines on the phone and plant false information about Kiefer. Jalapeno refuses to help them until she has a written promise of immunity from the CTU legal department. Before Nina can bitch-slap KuffedSpice into submission, her cell phone rings. It's Kiefer from inside the construction site trailer. He apologizes breathlessly for shooting her and explains about Gaines, the kidnapped Kieferettes, and Gaines's access to the CTU surveillance cameras. Nina says that she already knew about the video feed, and informs him that Jalapeno was Gaines's inside person. Kiefer is shocked at this news and reminds Nina that Walsh cleared Jalapeno. "She just confessed," says Nina, and informs Kiefer of Jalapeno's refusal to cooperate. Kiefer asks to speak to Jalapeno himself. She doesn't want to talk, but Soul Patch makes her by holding the phone to her ear in one hand and training a gun on her with the other. Kiefer tries to relate to Jalapeno as a fellow sister in kuffs who's got a family depending on him. He gives her the full Sutherland velvet treatment and even gives her his word that she'll receive immunity, but Jalapeno is unmoved and opts to wait for an agreement in writing. Kiefer tells Nina to send him a car at the construction site…and to bring Jalapeno's son Kyle into the office. Nina promises to get on it, and hangs up.
Meanwhile, Kiefer's hostage -- the boards call her Lauren Brockovich -- has been listening to Kiefer's konversation with look of total konfusion. "Who are you?" she asks when he gets off the phone with Nina. Kiefer explains that he's a government agent on a secret assignment, and meanwhile his wife and daughter are kidnapped to prevent him from carrying out this assignment. Lauren Brockovich just wants to know why she can't leave. "I can't afford to be taken into custody," says Kiefer, explaining that he's got to convince the people looking for him that he is willing to do something krazy. "Like shoot me?" says Lauren B. Kiefer promises not to shoot the dumpy but sassy waitress, so she grabs her purse and leaves, klaiming she's got to go appear in court on a DWI charge. Kiefer pulls a gun on her. "I have killed two people since midnight. I haven't slept for over twenty-four hours. So maybe you should be a little more afraid of me," says Kiefer, his voice an instrument of delirious velvet-draped rage. Lauren stays. The time is 8:24:36 AM.