Episode Report Card Wing Chun: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT National Lampoon's Kashmiri Vacation
By Wing Chun | Season 2 | Episode 9 | Aired on 12.07.2002
Doom ahoy! Jack and Sydney meet in a hall. She tells him the thermal sensors have been neutralized. Jack asks where Irina is; Sydney hasn't seen her: "We got this far. She must have gotten to Cuvee's office and disabled the surveillance system. She'll be here." Jack gets to the voice-recognition thingy and lies to it that he's Gerard Cuvee. As the door creaks open, Jack informs Sydney, "We're not waiting."
Jack and Sydney enter the lab, sliding their scarves off their heads. Sydney looks around furtively (though the room appears to be empty), and Jack immediately finds one of the suitcase nukes in the very first spot they check. Sydney pulls the nuke out and sets it on the floor as Jack offers the moronic instruction, "Use the control codes to begin deactivation." Sydney does not squeal back, "I know what I'd doing, Dad, GOD! Brake left, gas right, I'm not STUPID!" Or perhaps that's what I wanted to say to my dad at a similar, though not exactly identical, moment in my own life, and enough about me. (My dad had a terrible time teaching me how to drive, and I didn't enjoy it much either. However, the time we disabled a suitcase nuke we found at a super-secret facility of doom, it was smooth as silk. Good times. I'll show you the tape some time.) Sydney uses the control codes to begin deactivation. She opens the case, unscrews something, and finds it empty: "The plutonium core is gone," Jack informs us. Suddenly, the music track freaks out with a blare of trumpets. A door opens, and a group of people led by Gerard Cuvee -- and hey, how did he get past the voice box thinger speaking in his own voice, when we just saw that Jack recorded over Cuvee's voice with his own? -- enters; several soldiers point their guns at Sydney and Jack, who stand at attention and look unhappy. Jack and Cuvee glare at each other. And then Irina makes her way through the crowd of soldiers to take her place beside Cuvee, beaming at him evilly and stroking his shoulder proprietarily. Jack and Sydney stare at her, looking all betrayed.
Wing Chun: Evil! Damn, aren't you glad she's not our mom?
Toque: I don't know. It might be cool for a while.
Wing Chun: If she were on your side and you could be evil together. Sure, I can see that.
Toque: Would you go evil?
Wing Chun: If Irina were our mom? Maybe. She's pretty cool.
Toque: Smart. Keeps being smarter than the CIA.
Wing Chun: Exactly. But then you'd be worrying all the time about her turning on you and selling you out.