Episode Report Card Wing Chun: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT National Lampoon's Kashmiri Vacation
By Wing Chun | Season 2 | Episode 9 | Aired on 12.07.2002
Home sweet jail. Back in Los Angeles, U.S. Marshals escort Irina back to her cell. As she enters, she sees that her metal trough bed has been outfitted with a mattress barely thicker than my duvet, and a small, tidy pile of bedding. Her bounty is not accompanied by a box of Turtles and the latest issue of InStyle, however. Maybe next time. Irina smiles, because it really is the little things that count. Alone again, with Sydney on the opposite side of the glass, she strolls up to the partition, smiling sadly. Sydney stares back. "You must have a lot of questions," Irina understates. "No shit, lady," Sydney does not reply. Irina says, "One thing that should not wait any longer is why I shot you in Taipei." Sydney's like, "What, that? Oh, I've already forgotten all about that." Irina explains, "The rebel leader -- Gerard Cuvee -- when you were in Taipei, he was in the next room, watching, to see if I would betray him or you." Her eyes fill as she concludes, "Shooting you in the shoulder, giving you time to escape -- it was the only way I could think to maintain his trust, and keep him from killing both of us." They both smile at each other, just a little. Irina observes that they're both tired, and says Sydney should get some rest. "You too," Sydney says kindly. "Mom," she adds after a moment. Irina grins in surprise and gratitude. Sydney pauses for a second, as if to make sure she really said it, and leaves. Irina cries a little, smiling.
Sydney, arms crossed, strolls over to Vaughn's desk and says hi. "Hi!" he says back, grinning goofily, because of all the love. She asks about the flower, like she really cares about the stupid flower. He says that preliminary analysis indicates that it's anywhere from 400 to 600 years old. Sydney's all, "Guh?" "Like I said, preliminary," adds Vaughn. Sydney nods and stares at him goofily, with love. "Oh," Vaughn says, and hands her what looks like a couple of tickets. "What's this?" Sydney asks. She looks at them, then looks at Vaughn. They smile at each other goofily like a couple of goofs in love.
Musical montage over a sort of funkish song with a falsetto male vocal. Sydney mini-golfs with Will and stupid boring Francie. Dammit! Seriously, at this point in the episode when I watched it the first time, I was just about to say, "Rock! There was no Francie!" and then as soon as I had even thought it, there she fucking was. I know she doesn't have any lines, but shut up, Francie. Sydney has her hair in pigtails, and her centre part is the whitest, most ruler-straight part I have seen in my entire life. Like, I'm waiting for the episode where we see the special palm-sized robot Marshall has built for Sydney to stick on her head in the morning so it can part her hair for her, so mathematically perfect is her part. As we watch Sydney and her friends mini-golfing, we pull back to see that Vaughn is standing by the fence, watching them mini-golf like a creepy stalker. Vaughn, call that Dr. Phil producer back so that you can get on the show and get told to get a life.