Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | 57 USERS: A YOU GRADE IT I Have Hot Ice Cubes In My Head
By Jacob Clifton | Season 4 | Episode 18 | Aired on 02.04.2014
Liars: "Even for you, that was an amazing fucking thing to say right now."Hanna: "But he was so cool to me when Ashley was in jail, and he helped Emily with whatever thing she had going on, with the various colleges and pain creams..."
Spencer: "Yeah, almost like he was trying to get up in our heads. Almost like he was acting like a total child molester, which we already know he is. Run it back in your head, I'll wait."
The question is, do we tell Aria? Do we not tell Aria? Spencer's whole life right now is just one single razor point about not telling Aria until it is for sure, and not wasting a second before that time because the wolf is already at the door -- hell, the call is coming from inside the house, in a big way -- so we already know what she thinks. Hanna and Emily are like, "Luckily, she lied to us that she's with Byron in Syracuse, so she's safe..."
Cut to: Ezra Fitz in a black hoodie holding a knife over her face in the dark, or whatever. Setting up traps around the house to catch her if she tries to leave. Home Alone-ing cans of chickpeas to swing down and conk her out if she makes one false move. Catching birds in his teeth, to lay bloody at her feet. "The better to accessorize with, my dear."
Emily: "In other news, I have a bag of coffee beans with an interesting story behind it."
Spencer: "Tell us everything! And make us coffee."
Hanna: "Ixnay on the affeine-cay, but do proceed."
Emily: "Well, it's getting-around money for Alison. But if she doesn't have it, then probably she will starve. But TV-show starve, where her hair looks like a million bucks anyway and she is a supermodel in a floating space-telephone booth."
Liars: "So let's give it to that asshole Shana like you were..."
Emily: "Uh, about that. She has vanished."
Hanna: "And Spencer, you said you were staking out his house all day..."
Spencer: "And all night! And forever! I can see it now in my superadrenalized extra senses!"
Hanna: "And he never came home. So probably what he was doing was abducting Shana, I'm thinking, so Shana can lead him to his prey!"
SHANA
Wakes up to a ringing phone: A very young-sounding and -acting, terrified, Alison DiLaurentis, hungry and scared and lonely and pathetic in her little phone booth. Shana takes a good long time coming around to consciousness, thanks to the evils of A, and when she finally does wake up she can't formulate a correct answer for Ali about the money before she sees where he parked her: In front of the Welcome to Rosewood sign, with a scrawled A message warning her to leave town and never come back.