Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | 57 USERS: A YOU GRADE IT I Have Hot Ice Cubes In My Head
By Jacob Clifton | Season 4 | Episode 18 | Aired on 02.04.2014
Emily: "You get one, Cruz. Now that the unpleasantries are out of the way, let's try to remember that we're both just trying to help our mutual friend."Shana: "You wanna start a Friends of Ali Club? Make collages? Write fan fiction?"
Emily: "I know you're joking but honestly, both of those are major parts of our investigation."
HANNA ON THE CASE
Hanna: "Hey Aria, can we talk about Spencer's drug addiction?"
Aria: "I won't hear it, and I won't respond to it. We talk about me or we don't talk, you know the rules."
Hanna: "But like I really think she is on drugs. Gabe told me Conan the Barbarian could always spot a drug addict and I started thinking..."
Aria: "Gabe... Holbrook? Are you dating the smoking hot but relatively elderly Sean Faris? I'm not sure I'm comfortable giving up my crown just yet..."
(Her Prius-sized eagle doorknocker necklace transforms into a tiara that has DADDY ISSUES spelled on it in cubic zirconia.)
Hanna: "First of all, Spencer's gone to third with most of the thirty-year-olds we know, so you already lost that one. Secondly, we are not dating. We are book friends, we enjoy the life of the mind."
Aria: "So what, are you planning an intervention or something?"
Hanna: "No, I just want to give her some extra TLC this weekend. Relax her."
Aria: "Stalk her, investigate her, clock her every move?"
Hanna: "Essentially."
Aria: "I'm going away somewhere and I can't tell you where and there's no reception there so don't even try."
Hanna: "Fine, Emily will be into it. She loves being kind and nurturing even more than I do."
Then Aria describes the Mike and Mona situation as "a constant barrage of slow jams and lip balm," and that's how you know that whatever Aria does do this episode, it's going to be amazing. Aria turning out a well-tuned zinger is the same kind of red flag as Emily putting on plaid, or Hanna getting the bouncy ringlets going, or Spencer Hastings, from the moment she wakes up until she goes to sleep which is by the way never.
THIS PLACE ABOUT TO
Andrew's all out of Study Aid and therefore of no use to Spencer anymore. I know his current haircut leaves a little to be desired, but that is no fucking reason to let your priorities get so out of whack. Anyway, she twitches and itches herself on down the hallway of the school, looking like a Soul Asylum video in the middle of the afternoon, until setting eyes on... Brenda.