Episode Report Card Gustave: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT That blows
By Gustave | Season 3 | Episode 3 | Aired on 11.10.2003
Anyway, back to Andrea. When I heard about her being cast on this series I thought, oh, how perfect. She's just got that icy porcelain thing going on, with just a hint of androgyny that all the great ladies of 24 have. Well, unfortunately, Ms. Thompson isn't looking so hot these days. She's aging a bit like Sharon Gless from Queer as Folk. Okay, she's not that bad, but give her another ten years and she's going to start getting parts as someone's frumpy but spunky lesbian mom. Mark my words. So anyway, Kiefer, upon seeing Nicole get out of her van, quickly puts away his works and stuffs the case inside his glove compartment. She gets into the car. "How you doing?" she asks. Oh God. The Voice. Like ten years of cigarettes and love affairs that ended badly. And not in a glamorous "Sade" way, either. This is someone who has been bitterly waiting by the phone after a screaming fight with her boyfriend, crying, chain-smoking a pack of Pall Malls, drinking supermarket vodka with Sunny D and watching reruns of Golden Girls on Lifetime, all while ignoring the pileup in the litter box. I mean, if I were Kiefer, I'd take one look at her and continue shooting up. Oh, and by the way? Don't all of you start emailing me to protest what I just wrote and tell me that I'm failing to recognize the dignity and beauty of older women. Just don't. It's called moisturizer with sunscreen. And clean living. Look into it, Andrea. So Nicole expresses her condolences to Kiefer over Bride's death. The way she refers to Kiefer's dead wife as "Teri" suggests that she was a once a good friend of both of the Bauers. Kiefer explains that he "withdrew" after Bride's death, but that he appreciated Nicole's calls. He starts the van, and they're off and doing business. Nicole has done some analysis on her own, and she's concluded that Dr. Hazel's figures were off. Apparently the V-I-R-U-S is twice as deadly as Dr. Hazel predicted. "I've been hunting germs for over twelve years now and I've never seen anything like this," says Nicole. She notices that Kiefer is perspiring and asks him if he's okay. Kiefer tries to pass it off as stress. She looks down and notices a telltale amber vial on the floor of the Kiefmobile. I've been on dates like that. Not pretty.
Back at CTU, Mrs. Soul Patch is listening to the recorded phone message from the terrorists. Gael enters. And since there's a drug theme this season, I'm calling him "Crystal Gael" from now on. She calls him over and points out some Whatever Technology statistic to him, and determines that the call might have been made in the U.S. She "pipes it over" to his system and asks him to find a match. So much for tracing that call. "But do it after the meeting," says Bitchelle. Crystal Gael is all, "What meeting?" Bitchelle explains that Soul Patch is shifting resources to help Kiefer out in the field. "He's closing in on the virus." She exits, and Crystal Gael just stands there in shock as this Darth Vader heavy-breathing sound effect comes over the soundtrack. He starts to walk away -- presumably in the direction of his little private room -- when Potato Face stops him and tells him that Kiefer needs some audio feed as soon as he arrives at the Cocaine Condo. Crystal Gael is all, "Soul Patch needs me to do something for him, I'll get it to you after the meeting." Okay, you know that constipated face that babies make just before they're about to cry for three hours because you accidentally dropped them on their heads? That's totally the expression that Potato Face has on her face when Crystal Gael tells her he can't get her that audio feed. Potato Face urges him to do the audio feed anyway, but Crystal is all, "I can't, stop bugging me!"