Episode Report Card Gustave: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT That blows
By Gustave | Season 3 | Episode 3 | Aired on 11.10.2003
Back at CTU, Soul Patch is briefing the team about Kyle. They've got his driver's license blown up as a slide and everything. "We think he's transporting the virus although it's likely he doesn't realize what he's carrying." Adam the Woman Hater asks Soul Patch how Kyle could not know. Soul Patch replies that Health Services believes that the V-I-R-U-S is hidden inside a bag of cocaine or heroin. You know, they repeat that piece of information to the viewers so often, I'm starting to think that the V-I-R-U-S might not be inside that bag of cocaine! Oops! Getting ahead of myself here. Just then Crystal Gael joins the team at the table. Other options of capturing Kyle are mentioned, but Soul Patch feels that other law enforcement organizations like the LAPD are not equipped to handle a "hot zone." "We have to approach Kyle Singer with care," says Soul Patch. "He has no idea how deadly the powder is." Wow, I'm starting to think the V-I-R-U-S is actually in that powder, because they've told me so about nineteen times in the last five minutes. There's no way they're going to pull a twist on us viewers. No way.
Back at the Cocaine Condo, Kyle examines the bag of cocaine one more time before he slips it back into that gym bag. Meanwhile, his parents are fighting in the living room, and you can hear every word because it's one of those apartments where you can damage a wall by looking at it funny. He grabs more cash, puts it in his bag, and leaves his room. In the living room, Papa Kyle stops him and demands to see what's in the bag. Kyle does nothing. "Open that bag," says Papa Kyle. "Or I will open it myself." "Listen to your father, Kyle!" says Mama Diabetes. There is something seriously wrong with this family. It's like they are really from the fifties but they got time-transported to the present day and Papa Kyle can't find a job because he doesn't know how to use a personal computer. Kyle maintains that it's none of his father's business. "As long as you're living in my house, it is!" says Papa Kyle. Of course, since Kyle paid the rent, Papa Kyle is not exactly justified in saying that, and Kyle brings up that very fact. Papa Kyle grabs the bag and starts going through it. Kyle yells at him to "stop snooping." "Snooping"? He finds the bag of white powder. "What is this?" asks Kyle's father. "Coke?" Hey, maybe Kyle should lie and say that it's nonfat powdered milk that he bought to save money! Why, with all the money they save on milk, they could go to a sample sale and buy Papa Kyle a real suit! Kyle tries to explain that he's just making a drop-off -- he's not a junkie or a dealer -- but Papa Kyle isn't buying any of it. They fight. Mama Diabetes is all, "No! Don't!" Kyle grabs the bag and tries to run out of the house. The bag falls to the floor, and Kyle exits anyway. The bag breaks open. Hey, whattya know? There's a fan that just happens to be sitting right on the ground and blowing perpendicularly to the floor. What's up with that? Do everyone's feet in the Kyle family get really really hot? Anyway, needless to say, powder is blowing everywhere. The time is 03:11:54 PM.
The time is 03:16:20 PM. Klockwise from the top left, Kyle's driver's license is still being examined at CTU, Hartmano is sitting in his cell, Kiefer and Old Spice are still en route to their destination, and V-I-R-U-S-infected coke is blowing everywhere at the Cocaine Condo. Meanwhile, back at CTU, the meeting is just wrapping up as the camera pans to reveal an extra in cuffs being led past the table by an extra playing a CTU agent. Um, why aren't they having this meeting in a private room instead of in a semi-public area where everyone, including terror suspects, can hear what's being said? And while we're on the subject, how the hell did Crystal Gael get hired? You'd think they'd step up on the background checks after Jalapeño and Nina went bad. As everyone is walking back to their desks, Spawn sees Special Agent Charlie Brown talking to some CTU extras. "I thought you were supposed to be with my dad," says Spawn. Charlie explains that Kiefer sent him back to talk to Parker. "Parker?" exclaims Spawn. "He already turned in Kyle Singer. What else are you going to get from him?" Charlie explains that Kiefer is "sidelining" him because of his relationship with Spawn. "He says he's protecting me, but I'm not the one he's trying to protect," says Charlie. "We shouldn't have told him." Spawn is all, "What were we supposed to do, keep sneaking around until he catches us?" Charlie maintains that they could have waited. Spawn argues that he'd have had the same reaction no matter when they told him. "I gotta go deal with this kid Parker," says Charlie, shuffling off to one of the interrogation rooms. Spawn sighs like she's been personally inconvenienced by all of this.