Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | 2 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT Lana Turner We Love You Get Up
By Jacob Clifton | Season 2 | Episode 21 | Aired on 02.20.2012
Aria: "Fuckin' unbelievable. Did you bring handcuffs? Or are you just going to yank me out by my hair?"
Ella: "Good one, but neither. Actually, I am going to sit here and you two idiots are going to explain to me exactly what's going on. I understand that my husband has decided to maneuver you out of state, which is creepy enough, but I also feel like my dumb daughter would swiftly follow. That's two problems. So instead, you are going to take it very slow and explain to me exactly how this all went down."
Aria: "Sure, that's a thing that would realistically happen."
Well. Actually, it kind of is in this one case. I mean, at this point you've done everything that you can to make it clear why the situation is creepy, and Aria's a fairly level-headed young person, and as she's pointed out more than once, Ella's a fan of Ezra Fitz which does involve a certain amount of intuiting his threat level, which is nil. So I mean, if it were my daughter* this is absolutely not how it would go, but I can see where she's coming from.
*(Which is not to say that my daughter wouldn't turn out exactly like Aria Montgomery, in the long run. I've been too mean to and about the Arias and Vanessa Abramses of this world not to get exactly what's coming to me. But when she starts dating adorably effete first-year English teachers, that's when the hammer comes down.)
CLIFFHANGERS GALORE!
Who's that creeping around in the house while Spencer obsessively stares at the Melissa footage? Why, it's Melissa. Who refuses to answer questions about Garrett, Ian, or her sudden disappearances unless Spencer accompanies her to the Barn Where Melissa Kills People All The Time. And you know what they say, "You never go to a second location with anybody who's pregnant with the Devil's Spawn." I mean, that's even in the Girl Scout Handbook.
Melissa: "Remember the night of Ian's funeral? I tried to tell you something?"
(I: Personally do not, but this recap is already hella late so let's say I do.)
Spencer: "Can you just tell me whatever?"
Melissa, raising a hammer in the air: "No! I don't want to deal with our parents right now! Get your ass in the barn so I can murder you! Leave your phone!"
Spencer: "Done."
While Ella tries to get Aria and Ezra to stop acting squirrelly for like one time in their entire lives, and the cops are arriving for some fresh hell reason, Ashley's upstairs to check on Hanna and lie about meeting with Wilden when she notes the envelope that Aria snagged at the abandoned mansion law firm.