Episode Report Card Potes: A | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Featuring Janice Dickinson As Herself
By Potes | Season 6 | Episode 4 | Aired on 03.28.2006
Later that night, the girls go out to dinner. And who joins them but Miss Janice Dickinson yet again. She looks gorgeous. The girls are excited. At first. Janice makes the girls tap a little beat for her on the table as she dances around. She tries to goad Gina into having fun. She tells the girls that they're just going to kick back and have fun. Jade slaps Janice's ass. She interviews that Janice is awesome, and that the two of them click because they are on the same level. Batshit crazy and proud of it.
Janice asks the girls what's really going on back at the house. She calls Gina over to sit next to her, and says that she wants Gina to tell her who in the house is giving her shit, and that she will kick that girl's ass. Gina says, "Do I have to?" and Janice says, "Yes, tell me who's giving you shit." Gina points at Jade. Okay, I will say that, upon second viewing, it is plain that Gina really didn't need much encouragement to spill these particular beans. She totally wants Janice to do her dirty work and go apeshit on Jade. Boy, did that plan backfire. Janice just looks at Jade and goes, "YO!" It was this "YO" that really confirmed for me the sad fact that Janice is wasted. Like, I think she's crazy enough as it is, but there's something special her booze-soaked brand of crazy. It's Surreal Life crazy. Jade repeatedly asks, "Are you serious?," and then asks Gina what she's supposed to do now. Janice -- perhaps thinking that the voice she just heard is coming from Gina's ventriloquist doll, L'il Geens -- says, "First of all, you can get your ass off and go over there. You can go away." She says this to Gina. Everyone gets all quiet and nervous. Some poor waiter has to be witness to all of this, too. Janice probably pulled out a pocketful of nickels to leave for his tip. Janice tells Gina, "Rule #1: We never rat out our bitches." This makes me long for Janice to write a Furonda-style list of house rules. "Rule #2: Never mix the little pills with Jack Daniels unless you are feeling really, really tired and/or have an Epipen on hand. Rule #3: I fucked Jon Lovitz, for Chrissakes! Drugs are bad! Rule #4: Who pooped in my shoes? Rule #5: Oh, never mind. Maybe it was me." Gina tries to explain herself, but Janice yells, "ZIP IT!" Gina attempts to speak once again, and Janice -- a master of the last word -- simply screams, "ZIP IT, BITCH, ZIP IT. YOU'RE DEAD IN MY BOOK." Man, I wish I had been in that room. Soon afterward, Janice exits with a "Holla!" She most likely went on to finish off her evening by biting the cheeks off a fluffy orange kitten. Jade interviews that, with Janice, you need to be prepared for anything. Janice hates the weak.