Episode Report Card Potes: A | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Featuring Janice Dickinson As Herself
By Potes | Season 6 | Episode 4 | Aired on 03.28.2006
Danielle tells us that her pinky toe is swollen from last week's trip during the challenge at Panel. We see the toe, and it does indeed look swollen. She says that her ankle hurt when she fell, but now it's okay. She says she has a very high tolerance for pain, which may explain why she's able to hang out with Jade so much. Ever the trooper, Danielle says that she'll be fine tomorrow.
Tyra Mail! "What's your favorite position?" Does Pole Position count?
The next morning, the girls head off to the Highland Hall Cultural Center. When they enter, they see artists sketching a mysterious woman in a trench coat and hat, her back turned to them. Carmen Sandiego, found at last. Furonda interviews that she thought it might be a man. Well, close enough. "Good God, y'all," says the figure as she turns around, and we discover that it is Janice Dickinson, photographer/supermodel. Yay, I say, having no knowledge of what's in store. Oy, I say in retrospect. Janice is there to give a posing class, and will be teaching the girls the distinction between commercial and editorial poses. Playing the role of Janice's sidekick is none other than Season 5's Lisa D'Amato, who is best known for peeing in a diaper and talking to plants. These two are like the Siskel and Ebert of crazy bitches. Lisa is wearing an outfit that I'm sure I've seen on her in the past. It's a black vest over a wifebeater with a short plaid skirt. Oh, and I almost forgot the stupid hat. Janice says that Lisa knows how to pose, and we get some "proof" in the form of shots from last season. Janice looks like she always looks, which is to say like a well-appointed drag-queen version of herself. (See Parton, Dolly.)
Janice tells the girls that the key elements for editorial posing are "long, luscious, lovely." Commercial posing, on the other hand, should be, "happy, perky, skippy." I didn't know that Skippy had time for commercial modeling, given his excessive lusting after Mallory. Brooke interviews that she really didn't understand Janice's posing advice. Janice says that Lisa will model the posing direction she gives, but really Janice just kind of does it all her self. It would have been more effective if Janice had come with a ventriloquist dummy that looked exactly like her and was named "L'il Jan." Then we could all marvel at how L'il Jan gave the girls excellent posing instruction while Janice was busy guzzling a fifth of bourbon. Janice explains that the most basic model technique is called "wadding," and involves standing with legs apart and hands loosely together right around your private bits. Another good stock pose is looking at your watch or pretending that you're calling a cab and loving it. Janice gives a big "Ha ha ha!" laugh as she is posing, which makes Danielle totally crack up. In commercial modeling, says Janice, it is really important to keep up the energy and the "Ha ha ha!"-ing. "HA HA HA" says L'il Jan as her wood teeth clack together.