Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | 34 USERS: A YOU GRADE IT Suzy Clueless & The Secret Of Killingworth
By Jacob Clifton | Season 4 | Episode 15 | Aired on 01.14.2014
Spencer: "Well, maybe that's best..."Toby: "But who knows how many moms of Radley didn't jump off the roof to their death, turning their kids into modern-day Cinderellas that have to live in cobweb houses and get raped by their blind sisters? It could be dozens. As much as millions."
Spencer: "I mean, you're very important? But I think this is actually not about you."
Toby: "Don't be ridiculous. Now, come take this tank top off my body."
SCHOOL
Aria does some dumb Ezra thing, leaves him a note I think, and Spencer needles her about how Aria only likes Jake, but she loves Ezra, and so on. I guess the Toby sex must have been pretty good, because the conversation is so stultifying it must just be Spencer being charitable. If all of us just donated one hour a week to listening to Aria talk about Ezra, science predicts that she would eventually shut the fuck up about Ezra as early as within the next 160 years.
Emily shows everybody her cool color-coding system she has been using to distance herself from Alison's sick head-insides, and it's amazing: Emily is Green because she is a cool customer, Spencer is Blue because she is valorous, Aria is Purple obviously, and of course Hanna is Pink. Alison is Yellow because of her golden hair (and also because of a very weird story on p. 239 about Noel Kahn that ends in a surprising way). Emily has assigned White to the stories they don't know, but I'm not sure what that accomplishes.
Did I mention Ezra watches this entire situation go down from a few feet away? You bet your ass he does. Good work as ever, ladies.
Emily: "There's one story where she says I'm so desperately in love with her I'd rob a bank if she asked me to, and then another where she says I always put my friends first and she wishes she was more like me..."
Liars: "Yeah, it's almost like people are complicated and nobody is purely good or bad. Now, let's talk about how much we fucking hate Shana and Jenna for no reason."
Liars: "Where's Caleb, by the way?"
Hanna: "Alison wrote poetry. Well, doggerel. But still..."
Liars: "By the way we said Caleb, where is he by the way."
Hanna: "He went to Ravenswood, it's like whatever. I am every empowered song that is a lie Rihanna is telling us. Don't start, I already got my mom day-drinking about it."