Episode Report Card Demian: C- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Secretly INSANE Brody And The Warehouse Of Doom
By Demian | Season 7 | Episode 11 | Aired on 01.15.2005
What's mine is yours,
What's yours is mine:
I offer up my gift to share --
Switch our powers through the air.
Swirling clouds of glowing golf balls erupt from their bodies and hover above their heads for a suspiciously long moment, allowing Zankou just enough time to blaze into the nonexistent room from the fiery depths of Hell and unleash a couple of Flaming Balls Of This Stupid Idea Of Phoebe's Will Now Result In Wacky Hijinks in the gals' general direction. Phoebe and Piper shriek and duck behind Aunt Pearl's sofa, leaving the FBOTSIOPWNRIWH to plow into the swirling golf ball clouds instead. This, of course, sets off a minor explosion that propels the golf balls through the nonexistent attic's front windows. Phoebe and Piper gasp and gape in dismay as the camera cuts outside to follow the hijinks already in progress. The first of the clouds plows into a blue-collar type who's mid-munch on a sandwich in a pickup parked across the street. He shudders violently as his body glows white, and in the process dumps a full cup of coffee into his lap. Yow. The other cloud, meanwhile, zips straight into the bazooms of a frail-looking neighbor lady conveniently standing on the porch of 1324 Prescott. She flares white, goes, "Ooof!" and collapses onto her back. As the neighbor lady, stunned speechless, slowly pushes herself up onto her elbows, the shot cuts back to the attic, where Piper and Phoebe continue to cower as Zankou casually lopes around on the carpet, idly wondering, "Where's the third one?" Um, if you actually, as we shall shortly learn, had a premonition that Piper and Phoebe would be powerless and vulnerable at this juncture, wouldn't you also know Raige was back in Old-Timey New York? Idiot. Phoebe babbles a lame comeback as Zankou conjures another FBOD. Unfortunately for the demon, the Dolt orbs in behind him and immediately unleashes a massive spray of sporking electricity into Zankou's back. Zankou howls and wails and demolishes a priceless antique table with his chest. From the floor, he glowers at the Manor-bound Glamorous Ladies for a moment before blazing out of the room. Once he's gone, the Dolt buhs, "What happened? Why didn't you fire back?" "Go ahead, tell him," Piper snorts as The Flatulent Oboe Of Boy, Is Phoebe A Dumbass Or What? blats on the soundtrack. "We sort of lost our powers?" Phoebe winces. Piper silently conveys her full intent to throttle Phoebe with the latter's own large intestine before all three of the Manor Morons vanish into the commercial break.
Manor, aftermath. Piper leads Phoebe and the Dolt down the main stairs as Phoebe frantically proposes calling for their lost powers. Piper testily reminds Phoebe that they just tried that fifteen seconds ago. If it didn't work then, it's not going to work now. Nitwit. Piper motors towards the front door as the Dolt meekly wonders where she's going. Piper duhs that the glowing golf ball clouds flew through the nonexistent attic's front window, so they must be outside somewhere. "So you expect to find them laying around on the front lawn?" he snorts. Piper instantly whips around with dark hints of Dolt murder glinting in her eyes. Unfortunately, we get no spectacular Dolt abuse. For now. Rather, Piper howls something about how this whole stupid nonsense isn't her fault because, hello, it wasn't her goddamned idea in the first place. The arms attached to the shoulders hovering somewhere above Phoebe's NIPPLES flap around as the head above them mumbles another apology. "I just wanted you to see what I saw," she bleats, and WE KNOW THAT and SHUT UP, PHOEBE, so it's quite the nice little moment when Piper screams back at her, "And now I can see THAT WE ARE GOING TO DIE, and I don't need your worthless, pointless, USELESS powers for that, you skanky, stoopid HAG!" I embellished a little, but not much. The Dolt finally gets a relevant word in edgewise and suggests they scry for the missing powers, as said powers continue to exist "somewhere." Phoebe puzzles over this statement for an egregiously long period of time before realizing that the Dolt means their powers have found new hosts -- or, as the Dolt puts it, "two very surprised people." Piper frazzles about Raige's all-but-guaranteed absence for the duration of this latest crisis before ordering the Dolt over to Not!warts with the kids, given how likely it is that Zankou will attack again now that he knows the Manor-bound gals are defenseless. The Dolt splutters some objections, but Piper practically shouts him into his orb cloud and out of the Manor. Snerk. You can tell that, fabulous Avatarliciousness or no, he's still scared shitless of her when she gets into one of her moods.