Episode Report Card Demian: C- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Secretly INSANE Brody And The Warehouse Of Doom
By Demian | Season 7 | Episode 11 | Aired on 01.15.2005
The moment he's gone, the racket accompanying a series of nearby explosions enters the main hall through the still-closed front door. Piper opens it and steps onto the front porch to spot multiple flashes of Discontented light flickering in the downstairs windows of 1324 Prescott, followed by a startled shriek. "I just found mine," Piper eyebrows uneasily. Phoebe jiggles off upstairs in the background to scry for her own.
Hell. Long, tiresome scene short, Zankou employs a couple of Flaming Balls Of Death to dispatch a few dark demonic forces who dare question his masterful plan. He then announces he plans to circumvent any possible future meddling by the Dolt by spilling the latter's Avatarlicious secrets to the other Elders. Mua ha ha ha zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
Christmas Time In Not York. Dude, is that a Pinto crawling by on the street in front of "Columbia" "University"? I thought they were long off the market by 1981. Anyway, just as a hapless pedestrian brushes up against the Pinto's back bumper and finds himself immolated in the gas tank's subsequent instantaneous explosion, we cut indoors to Ma And Pa Brody's Olde Tyme Antique Emporium. Or, you know, their shared campus office, where they apparently run Columbia's archaeology department, or something. Ma Brody's settled into a leather wingback chair, and gratefully accepts a glass of water from her bulging son. Her other bulging son -- the smaller, even more annoying one -- wonders if Ma's going to be okay. "She's gonna be fine," Secretly INSANE Brody replies, conveniently omitting the "until 7:52 this evening, of course" clause that statement demands. Pa Brody enters the office at this juncture to rush to his wife's side. Secretly INSANE Brody nearly blows his cover by addressing the gentleman as "Dad." "Careful," Raige sotto-voces. Ma Brody, breezing past the gaffe, waves off her fainting spell, attributing it to her shock at realizing that Secretly INSANE Brody is "the spitting image of [her] father." Pa Brody raises his eyebrows a bit at this, then crosses with outstretched hand to make with the affable introductions. He's "Jack," by the way. Snort. Even on Charmed, Kerr Smith can't quite escape his homosexual past. And it couldn't happen to a more deserving 'phobe, methinks. Anyway, Raige hastily introduces Kyle as "Kevin Matthews" before perking that they're on their way to see Raiders. The Cab Troll instantly invites himself along. Brat. "You're too young," Ma Brody chides gently as the office phone rings. While Pa crosses to the desk to answer, Secretly INSANE Brody settles down in front of The Cab Troll and assures the latter that he'll love the flick once he finally sees it. After a bit of non-engaging business where Ma Brody encourages The Cab Troll to share the title of his favorite story and both Big and Little Bulge answer "The Mummy's Curse," Raige announces that she and "Kevin" should get going. "So should we," Pa Brody agrees as he hangs up the phone. "That was Customs," he informs Ma. "The manifest for the Cairo shipment is missing. They're telling us they'll destroy the whole shipment unless we get down there and identify it." Ma Brody makes outraged noises about "priceless artifacts" and whatnot as Raige and Secretly INSANE Brody exchange A Look Fraught With Significance. Raige and Secretly INSANE Brody take their leave as Ma Brody gazes a bit wistfully at the retreating form of the older version of her son.