Episode Report Card M. Giant: B | 126 USERS: B+ YOU GRADE IT Bavarian Creamed
By M. Giant | Season 20 | Episode 5 | Aired on 2012.03.18
Mark and Bopper are almost done with one side of their gingerbread roof while Mark flirts with the witch, even though he later describes her as, "Uglier than a mud rail fence." Rachel is taking the witch's cackling personally -- like she does everything else that happens in the world -- and the cousins tell us that their hands are numb from working in the cold. Stacy says she wants to be the first ones out of there. Sure, there's a first time for everything.
Art and JJ hop out of the carriage outside Neuschwanstein Castle and, after taking in the impressive view, walk up some more steps and head inside to the imposing, ornate halls. JJ leads Art as high as they can go, where they find a big bedroom with a canopy bed and an old-school clue box standing in a roped-off alcove. From this, they get a clue telling them to go to Füssen ("That's just up the street," JJ says knowledgeably), but the name of the specific location they're going to has, in JJ's words, "seventy-seven consonants in a row." Phil confirms that they now need to drive themselves to an "eishockey und curling rink" to find their next clue. Off they go, still toting their gnome. I know what curling is, but what's the translation of "eishockey?"
The teams at the gingerbread task are still hard at work, but Kerri and Stacy are indeed the first team to call the witch over to check their work, promising it will attract children for her dinner. The witch nods approvingly and produces their clue, causing them to jump up and down and hug each other. But Kerri can't even do that right, bashing her face into Stacy's in the process. They're off in search of the castle in sixth place. "That's okay, they done a good job," Bopper says. Brendon isn't quite so philosophical about leaving after a team they arrived with.
Walking down the hill from the castle, Art and JJ meat Team Jersey, and then the divorcees. Vanessa's now carrying her jacket, but at some point she gets tired of Ralph's pushing and throws it at him. It's a sign of their combined maturity that at one point it's actually lying in the road while they argue over who's going to carry it. Ralph ends up toting it and asks her if there's anything else, "Princess?" Vanessa suggests some class and dignity. Which she's clearly not carrying either. "And look more like a juiced-up hothead," she adds. "Congratulations, you just made YouTube." Dude, what the hell? The other two remaining couples are getting along relatively well despite their setbacks, so these two suddenly come apart over an uphill walk? Is there some sort of Conservation of Bickering principle I'm not aware of?