Episode Report Card M. Giant: B | 126 USERS: B+ YOU GRADE IT Bavarian Creamed
By M. Giant | Season 20 | Episode 5 | Aired on 2012.03.18
Kerri is using a fork to chisel pieces so they'll fit on the house, and Bopper is taking frequent breaks to cackle back at the witch. I think he's trying a method-acting approach to gingerbread house construction.
Art and JJ are on the road to Neuschwanstein Castle, which they spot from a distance over the mountains. They have to park their car a fair distance downhill from the actual structure, so they decide to take a covered, horse-drawn carriage up to the building so as not to have to hoof it up the long, wet, slippery roadway to the gates. Meanwhile, Other Rachel and Dave have taken a wrong turn somewhere, and they react about as well as always. Other Rachel tells Dave not to get mad at her, since he got the same directions she did, but he points out that he wasn't paying attention. Not exactly an ironclad defense, that.
Vanessa and Ralph are the next team to spot Neuschwanstein Castle standing tall and gray in the distance. They also see a different castle on a neighboring mountaintop, a squatter and more pedestrian one of built of tan stone, but the divorcees agree (correctly) that the gray one looks "more fairy tale-ish." Team Jersey is also on its way. The two teams both arrive at the parking lot, and again debate on which castle before agreeing on the right one.
Then there's the question of how to get up there. Ralph points out the paved footpath and Joey "Fitness" and Danny head right up it while Vanessa protests, "We can't hike that, are you guys high?" She points out a carriage like the one Art and JJ took, but Ralph insists they follow Team Jersey, because their lead is expanding. Vanessa caves, but vows, "If we're going the wrong way I'm gonna kick your ass." Soon they're heading up on foot, as Ralph asks her to walk faster and make an effort. She says she is making an effort, "to not kill you right now." So while this may have been the right direction, it was clearly the wrong way. Ralph acts like she's (unreasonably) pissed off about being in the cold instead of (slightly more reasonably) being on foot, and she tells him to shut up for five seconds. Five...f--"Don't tell me to shut up," Ralph says. "Son of a bitch!" Vanessa snaps. Hard to believe none of his marriages worked out.
Nary and Jamie are busy asterisking their guy's face, and they ask if he does this all the time. That would be a no. Soon they're done, and they have their clue to Sleeping Beauty's castle in fifth place, and the guy they just did up works his jaw for the camera so his long beard-spikes waggle up and down. A-ttractive.