Episode Report Card M. Giant: B | 126 USERS: B+ YOU GRADE IT Bavarian Creamed
By M. Giant | Season 20 | Episode 5 | Aired on 2012.03.18
Art and JJ show up and pick a guy with a shorter beard, who according to his "after" photo is supposed to end up with a less extreme version of the facial architecture that Team Jersey is working on. JJ describes this activity as "weird" and "funky," because he and Art aren't experiencing any of these tasks to the fullest unless they're complaining about them.
Kerri and Stacy's strategy of staying with the pack has clearly not worked out, because Stacy's now just driving through town in search of Gustof Zum Rassen while Kerri sits in the back seat trying to figure out how a map works and succeeding only in getting them completely turned around. Stacy gets frustrated enough with her cousin to trigger a commercial break, but after that they throw a U-ey and Kerri says, "If we go straight to the place I'm gonna feel very empowered right now." Too late for that, I think.
At Chez Shave-Already, Dave is explaining to us that they chose their guy because he's jovial and Santa-looking. Indeed, their victim is continually sporting a wide, open-mouthed smile that suggests to me that he's actually been downing beers since they changed trains at Innsbruck. Meanwhile, Art is telling us that JJ, with his backpack full of hair products, knows exactly what to do. Wait, what? I've seen JJ's hair and it might as well be a coat of paint. What's the point of having short hair, especially while traveling, if you need to fuck with it? Team Jersey is still trying to get their guy's side-spikes right. "Taking this guy out to the club after," Danny says, probably because they'll have better luck if their wingman has whiskers that can blind unsuspecting women. More beers are served to the bearders who are still waiting, because maybe the other racers should have gotten here sooner if they didn't want their subject getting up to pee every ten minutes.
Bopper and Mark are arriving at the restaurant, where the polka band is in full swing. The Speed Bump sign with their picture on it is there, too, and their envelope tells them to "participate in the traditional alpine art of yodeling." Cut to Phil standing next to the Speed Bump sign, on the other side of which is a dude in lederhosen who yodels at length while Phil looks increasingly uncomfortable. He's the guy who's going to teach Mark and Bopper to yodel, and it looks like he's going to do it using his best cross-eyed sitcom-dad face. He'll give them their next clue when he's satisfied with their performance, but I'm sure we can look forward to the usual low standards when it comes to making racers participate in musical performances. Bopper and Mark go behind a screen to change into checked shirts and lederhosen of their own.