Episode Report Card Miss Alli: C- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT In my beautiful (and slow) balloon
By Miss Alli | Season 8 | Episode 9 | Aired on 11.28.2005
Arpeggios, which are always used on this show to signify a strange sense of calm and, in this case, the presence of Mormons, welcome us back to Salt Lake City. Phil explains that Salt Lake City is aptly named for its proximity to the Great Salt Lake, which is in turn aptly named for its quality of being a lake that's really big and really salty. I'm thinking that when Utah was being set up, there wasn't a lot of free time to work on the nomenclature. Furthermore, hearing Phil have to fall back on mentioning the fact that he's in the capital of Utah as part of his spiel about the ninth pit stop is really depressing. Next, he will be mentioning that the amount of money being handed out for the leg is the same as the population of Hoisington, Kansas. Phil reminds us how the Weavers were last, and how he didn't eliminate them, because his pants were pinching him and he was just in a mean, mean frame of mind. Although they weren't eliminated, they were required to give up all their money and their stuff. Fortunately for them, they shouldn't mind, because they can just think of it as the vow of poverty required in order for them to become truly holy. I don't want to pressure them, but I also hear good things, getting-into-heaven-wise, about vows of silence. Just a suggestion! Phil wonders if the Linz family will be able to keep up their momentum in spite of the thunderbolts being thrown by the Weavers' God, who seeks vengeance on their behalf when he isn't combing his long, white beard and guiding the hand of the person choosing the numbers in the Powerball drawing.
12:46 AM. Linzes. Nick rips the clue, which tells them to drive to Park City High School. Yes, that's right. Drive to the high school. We've seen gas stations, we've seen big chairs -- now, it's time for the extremely historic local high school. You can't deny that it's certainly a piece of American history, considering that it was built in 1977, just after the Pilgrims landed on Plymouth Rock. And just generally, I mean, parking lots are pretty fucking amazing. Megan mentions as the Linzes leave the mat that she's "a little sick." As we get a glimpse of Tommy's "Uncle Bone" t-shirt, Megan interviews that being on the race with three brothers is nice, because they "spoil" her. They give her all the lemon drops and don't make her wash the horses and dirty her petticoats, or something. Nick and Alex chat about how Megan is sitting in the car, and Nick posits that he'd rather she weren't in the car if she's going to throw up. "She's not going to throw up," Alex says. And then he authoritatively adds, "She's got cramps." "I love being the only female in this group," Megan voices over, theoretically providing some counterpoint to the idea that she is currently suffering from cramps. In the car, Alex tells the camera how Megan has kept up with "the boys" the whole way, as she looks like she is indeed about to throw up. I kind of wonder if Alex's interpretation of "cramps" is that when a girl's stomach is upset, it's cramps. We've noted his That Guy nature before, and it wouldn't surprise me at all if he is, among other things, What Ails That Chick Is Probably Cramps/PMS/Hormones Guy. Which guy is not, ironically enough, usually a great expert on the subject of the physiology of women. (There is substantial overlap between him and Wait, The What? Oh, THAT'S Why Jerry Seinfeld Yells "Delores!" Out The Window; I've Never Gotten That Joke Until Now Guy.)