Episode Report Card Miss Alli: C- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT In my beautiful (and slow) balloon
By Miss Alli | Season 8 | Episode 9 | Aired on 11.28.2005
Anyway, as to Mama Weaver and these weird post-Yield confrontations in which she tries to extract regret from people with nothing to regret, why does she need to know whether Alex is sorry? She hates these people. Why does she need them to be sorry? Why does she care? Why will it make her feel better if they are? It just makes no sense, except that she wants to extract apologies from people because it makes her feel superior, and I'm beginning to think that between her apparent lack of education (or failure to prevent whatever education she received from bouncing cleanly off her head like so many Wiffle balls) and her apparent inexperience in dealing with other human beings, there isn't much that makes this woman feel comfortable, let alone better than anyone, which would explain the supercilious piety as well. Alex is kind of baffled by the question as to whether he's "sorry" for playing the game, and he fairly simply says, "No." Elsewhere, Megan is less circumspect. "No, we're not sorry," she mutters to the Godlewskis through a mouthful of food. "Heeeell, no." Meanwhile, the Weavers gather in front of a camera and agree that even if they don't win, they got to be really mean and snotty to the Linzes, which is all they really wanted. The hoof beats of their moral and behavioral high horse are downright deafening.
At 6:00 AM, the Linzes are the first to leave for the balloons. In the car, they discuss the Weavers and their strange behavior. "A different people from a different land," Nick drawls. "Not like us Midwesterners." Megan offers, "she doesn't act like a mom," and Nick sort of shrugs it off, saying, "Nobody likes to be Yielded." And then he likes the sound of that and smiles at it, saying, "Nobody likes to be Yielded in life," kind of Bill-and-Ted-like. Oh, Nick.
Back at the trailers, Mama Weaver is still celebrating, because she is still angling for that Worst Sportsmanship trophy. Given that the only competition she has is her own children, I suspect she can pull it out. At 6:10, the Bransens leave, undoubtedly happy to get away from the crazy lady. I might be projecting, though. The Gadzookskis leave at 6:20, just as we see that the Linzes are starting the process of inflating their balloon. You're probably not surprised that they don't have to blow it up with their mouths through a valve or anything. The Bransens and Gadzookskis follow, and they work on their balloons as well. In one of my favorite moments, the pinks are trying to push on their balloon, and somebody is counting like they're going to go on three, but what comes out is, "One, two, three...four." "Four?" Michelle says with curiosity. (The trade offered to me this week that amounted to Nick Linz for Michelle Godlewski -- it's a long story -- is starting to look like a fair one indeed.) At 6:30, the Weavers drive over to the balloons. As they arrive, Mama says, "That's the team we've got to beat," speaking of the pinks. "Those snotty little ladies." "They're bottle blondes with implants," Rebecca haughtily declares. Okay. Rebecca, you've seen your own hair, yes? I mean...I bring it up because I'm wondering if you think the rest of us can't see your hair. I'm not sure what your beliefs are with regard to mirrors and cameras and whatnot, but I just want you to know...I've seen your hair. Not to mention...your mother's hair. I mean, I'm pretty sure mom is being run through the Bleachinator every other Tuesday (if she isn't, I'd recommend a change of shampoo). And frankly, you're not fooling anybody either, Pope Pious Le Pew, so let's not get overwound with the hair-color-related indignation, okay? Thanks. I mean, seriously. At least any pigmented Gadzookskis are sticking to one color. ["And what is their obsession with implants? Why is this the default insult? And if the implication is that the other team is 'trashy,' 1) they aren't, and 2) people who confuse 'shorts' with 'underpants' shouldn't throw stones, so…I don't get it." -- Sars]