Episode Report Card Miss Alli: C- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT In my beautiful (and slow) balloon
By Miss Alli | Season 8 | Episode 9 | Aired on 11.28.2005
The next morning, the teams are sent to Dunham Ranch in Wyoming, where they'll look for another clue. The Bransens leave first, and in their car, Wally is looking at the map. "What are you looking at, Dad?" one of the Tonyas asks as she lies all over another one on the other side of the back seat from Wally. "Just trying to get refamiliar," Wally rather grouchily improvises, making up a word that doesn't exist but of which everyone instantly recognizes the usefulness. The Tonyas sort of chuckle over the invented word, and Wally looks unamused at being made fun of. Weird little scene. The Weavers leave next, and Mama asks God to bless them. (God: "[Pointed silence.]" The pinks leave, and Christine talks about her stomachache. "Oh, how convenient," Michelle snots in her inimitable way. Hey, maybe it's cramps! The Linzes leave in last place, insisting that they are "pumped." Tommy yells about how they're all just energetic boys, and Megan says that it's not like she's not used to being around the boys when they're freaking out. "She loves us," Tommy announces as he smooches her on the cheek. She ignores it, so he pulls her into a semi-noogie. And then she gets this look, and she says, "As you can tell, it can get really...obnoxious." I think mostly when Tommy is involved is when it's really obnoxious.
The Bransens get to the ranch and pull their clue. It tells them that it's time for a Roadblock, in which Phil says two members of the team will have to herd some cattle a quarter of a mile (not a whole quarter of a mile!) into a pen. That should be challenging, considering that -- as one of the EEFPs pointed out -- these are probably cows that get herded by tourists several times a week. But anyway, two members of the team, two horses, six cattle. Two of the Tonyas take the Roadblock. "Don't be afraid to ride him, Lauren," Wally advises as his daughters go off with a couple of cowboys. Not every day a dad gets to give that advice, now, is it? The riding of horses ensues, and someone strains for a City Slickers vibe with the soaring strings on the score, but it ain't happening. As Beth and Lauren do the Roadblock, the Weavers are nearing the ranch. The Bransens finish, and the clue they get says something about "I'm old and faithful." I would normally make fun of the stupidity of that "clue," but you couldn't have convinced me before the race that anyone thought Lake Pontchartrain was one of the Great Lakes, either . Phil explains that this clue instructs them to go to Yellowstone Park and find Old Faithful, the geyser that erupts about every 90 minutes. They have to go and watch it erupt, and then they can go. I have to say, I've watched Old Faithful erupt, and I found it a little anticlimactic. I admit that at ten years old, I may have been too much of an adrenaline junkie to appreciate its splendor, but my recollection is that the entire family was like, "Huh." ["Ours too. Mr. S's rather baroque bout of carsickness later that same day was the more impressive natural wonder, in my opinion. Good show, Young Faithful." -- Sars] And then we did things that were more fun, like taking pictures of moose. At any rate, the Bransens scurry off.
The Weavers hit the ranch and the Roadblock next. Rebecca and Rachel take the Roadblock. Apparently, Rebecca is quite the horse lady (in an entirely different way than her mother), so she is supposedly going to be awesome at this. As they ride, Mama explains to us that they have horses at home, and adds that Rebecca and her father were going to be in a cattle-pinning contest once upon a time but never did it. I'm going to spare you the jokes that circulated among the people with whom I watched this episode, because...they were really tacky. No, tackier than that.