Episode Report Card Miss Alli: B+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT On The Road Again
By Miss Alli | Season 8 | Episode 1 | Aired on 09.26.2005
The Linzes want a map. They have really, really fallen behind. They're told that they're about 45 minutes from the park once they find a guy who actually knows what the scoop is. The Paolos? Still not where they should be. Still arguing. Still boring.
As the Black family paddles, they find themselves quickly being tossed around by the current. Even Austin is encouraged to really dig deep with the paddling, to the degree he can, and he seems to do his best. Of course...he's still eight, you know? Will they drift off into oblivion? Tension!
Commercials. I like Kate Winslet so much that I basically forgive that commercial, interestingly enough.
When we get back, the Black family is still paddling hard. Their captain tells them that they're still being pulled too far downstream, and that they need to paddle harder. They finally seem to get themselves going.
The Aiellos pull up to Fairmount Park. The group of Eagle Scouts is waiting to hand out the departure times, and...Eagle Scouts? I mean, I love Eagle Scouts. Some of my best friends are Eagle Scouts, literally. But between Philadelphia, and the flag, and the scouts...it's starting to be a bit of an OD on the Americana, if you ask me. I'm surprised there wasn't a Fast Forward involving dressing like Uncle Sam, eating a giant apple pie, and singing "Yankee Doodle" while the Rockettes stand behind you and, one by one, vote in a primary election. The Aiellos choose a spot to start with their tent.
Bransens, driving. Rogerses, driving. Rogerses, being told that they're going the wrong way, because Fairmount Park is nowhere near where they are. Mama Rogers thinks that "the swamp water has done something to [their] brain." Hey, she said it, not me. The Weavers find the park, and they are still screaming. Weavers and Aiellos work on their tents, and then the Weavers -- you guessed it! -- shriek that another family is arriving. It's the Gaghans, having passed the Bransen and Rogers crews. They hop out of their car and run for the site, just as the Bransens show up, with one of the Tonyas griping about how "the little kids" beat them. Well, yes, they did. Hit them in the knee with a pipe! Just kidding.
The Aiellos are the first team to finish the tent. They get their departure time, followed by the Weavers. With her bandanna slipped down around her neck like a collar, Carissa, who would be utterly intolerable if she had turned out to be all hat and no cattle, pounds resolutely on her tent stake. They get their clue next, happy to have gained ground -- worth a half an hour in morning departure times -- from Washington Crossing to here. The Bransens, edged by a couple of little kids, pick up a 10:30 departure.
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