Episode Report Card Miss Alli: B+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT On The Road Again
By Miss Alli | Season 8 | Episode 1 | Aired on 09.26.2005
And now, The Weaver Family. This is a widow and her children from Florida. Daughter Rachel explains that her father died in an auto-racing accident at the speedway where he worked. My God. Mom Linda explains that since the death of her husband, she and her alliterative children Rachel, Rebecca, and Rolly (who is a boy, in spite of his hair) have had this "cloak of sadness," and they're trying to get out from under it by going on the race together. There are certain things that make me very sympathetic to you in life, but that I am very wary of seeing used as your hook on a reality show, and this is a perfect example. I don't dislike them for being on the show, but this is just too much for me. It's distasteful in a way that's tough to put my finger on. Also, they have horses. Also also, while Rebecca may have a cloak of sadness, she also has a cloak of blonde hair over what is mostly dark hair, so that's an interesting effect.
The Aiello Family isn't necessarily my favorite team, but I like their hook the best -- it's a father and his three sons-in-law. Dad Tony explains that his family is his reason for living, and he likes the idea of getting this time with his three SILs -- Kevin, David, and Matt. I cannot believe that the three SILs, not related by blood, still all manage to look like the same guy. I swear, I am never going to get the hang of this, ever. I'm also not a big fan of Tony's flat little caps. He seems to have several of them, and it makes me think it's some kind of a thing he has, like he's Joe Pantoliano, which...no. Matt says he's looking forward to getting to know the guys on the team "on a more intimate level," and Tony's all, "Not that intimate," in case you thought Matt was implying that the father and the SILs would be doing a lot of making out. Boy, there's a joke that never, ever gets old. "I won't spoon you," Matt offers, which kind of pulls the moment out of the fire and makes it slightly funny again, although the visual imagery is not doing me any favors. I think I like him.
The Schroeder Family is from New Orleans, and by way of introduction, yes, they had some hurricane losses, and yes, they're okay, although that obviously doesn't make the cut here. This family includes dad Mark, stepmom Char, and kids Stassi and Hunter, 17 and 15, who are not, despite their names, moody runway models or sweaters from J. Crew. Stassi is more the jet-black-hair Subtle Hint-O-Goth girl, and Hunter is a relatively unassuming kid. Char says that their attitude is that they're right, and other people are wrong. Why anyone would adopt that particular attitude with regard either to life or to this particular game is a little bit beyond me. Stassi calls herself a "daddy's girl," and there certainly seem to be more than a few of those kicking around. Mark says that his "boisterous personality tends to intimidate people," and that is bad on several levels. Most people who describe themselves as "boisterous" voluntarily are sort of assholes, and people who refer to the way they intimidate others pretty much always are, so that's just not a good sign. And then he compares himself to a hungry but fuzzy bear, which makes me want to spray him with mace. But in a cuddly way.
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