Episode Report Card Miss Alli: B+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT On The Road Again
By Miss Alli | Season 8 | Episode 1 | Aired on 09.26.2005
The Gaghans approach, having dropped several spots on the way. When they get to the clue box, Billy takes the clue, saying "I'm doing it" in a way that again suggests to me that the kids have been told that they aren't to bicker over who opens what clue. The Aiellos finally return to shore, and FIL hands the flag to the reenactment-soldier types who perform the incredibly suspenseful...folding. Tony goes on about how patriotic it was, and I am instantly bored. Because of all the things I find patriotic, watching costumed people fold outdated flags is just...not on the list. They get their clue, which tells them to drive to Philadelphia, where they will get pelted with rocks. Oh, no, that's only for relief pitchers. This clue just tells them to go to Fairmount Park and find Belmont Plateau, where they'll camp for the night. At the park, they'll pitch their tents as quickly as they can, because as they finish, they'll be given start times for the next morning. Three at 10:00 AM, three at 10:30 AM, and four at 11:00 AM. The Aiellos take off. "Dude, we are team number one right now," one of them says.
The Bransens are landing as the Rogerses are trying to get going. Bransens see the flag folded. They leave in second place. The Gaghans get in their boat and leave. The Schroeders finally make it to the clue box and get in a boat. Brock Rogers fetches his team's flag, followed by Rolly Weaver. The Gaghans are paddling here, too, and it really looks like the teams are more and more at the mercy of the current. The various George Washington "captains" on the boats encourage the teams to paddle in unison, because they'll make far better progress that way. Team Rogers returns to shore, and they and the Weavers view their flags folded and head for Philadelphia. As they drive, Brock looks out the back at the Weavers and says, "They're passin' us up, I tell you whuuuut." And anyone saying "I tell you whuuuut" gets three free points with me. So that's a total of...three points for Brock so far. Teeeeeam Weeeavah! does indeed pass.
Back at the river, the Gaghans get their flag and paddle back, passing the Schroeders coming the other way. Hunter brings the flag back as his mother says, "Don't let it touch the water, honey. It's sacrilegious...or something." It's the "or something," by the way, that makes me not so much a flag-etiquette person. "Mine is not to reason why; mine is but to tell you what to do" is not my favorite moral/ethical construct. The Gaghans reach the shore with their flag, and as it's folded, Billy asks if he can hold it. "I'm very respectful," he promises. As they drive off, Carissa has her bandanna-headband tied around horizontally, like a Ninja turtle, which I like. Much more interested in being a superhero than a princess, that one. She tells her mom she "tried to get it as perfect as [she] could." "You did a good job, sweetie, don't you worry," Tammy tells her. "Give me five," her dad says, and she does. I dig them.
The Schroeders get their flag folded and leave. They feel lost almost immediately, however. As the Blacks approach the park, they see people leaving and hope they're not in last place. They're actually in seventh as they pull their clue and head down into a boat. Their captain tells them to be sure to get upriver, because downriver, the currents will kill you. And they don't have a lot of strong paddling arms, either. Meanwhile, the Godlewskis, having fallen seriously from their placement earlier, are just arriving at the park. They're trying not to panic, and their not-panicking is as loud, of course, as other people's panicking would be.
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