Episode Report Card Miss Alli: B+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT On The Road Again
By Miss Alli | Season 8 | Episode 1 | Aired on 09.26.2005
The Godlewski Family is a wall of blondes -- four sisters, all wearing pink. Michelle, Christine, Sharon, and Tricia. They pretty much go from wife-type to young-hottie type, although they're all lovely women and could also be viewed as a primer in how to age gracefully, since none of them look like they're trying too hard and three of them are between 37 and 42. Christine says that they, too, expect to be underestimated. They all promise not to obsess over their hair. You know, the way girls usually do! Ha ha ha! Sigh.
The first thing I note about The Rogers Family is the purple bandanna on one of them, which instantly reminds me of Kendra. Yuck. Dad Denny, mom Renee, daughter Brittney (purple bandanna), and son Brock are all going on the trip, but Renee nods vigorously when Denny says that he'll be in charge. And why? Because of the Bible. I didn't even know the Bible mentioned reality television. Go figure. "We believe that the man is the authority of the house," Denny announces, but Brock tells us that they have scuffles over things like his curfew. Brock has a certain look of completely non-threatening teenage rebellion, with the mop of boy-band hair and everything. I mean, you can let a lock fall over your eye all you want, but as long as your sea-foam polo shirt has the collar turned up, nobody's going to tag you as a rebel. We all know that you leave the Jimi Hendrix CD out in plain sight, but on your iPod, it's all Rob Thomas. In other news, you'll never guess, but Brittney thinks that people will underestimate their team because they're from the south. Denny, on the other hand, thinks that people will underestimate them because they're so kind and have so much "charm." So, just to recap: nobody has any respect for young people, old people, women, blondes, southerners, or people who just can't help being superior human beings. Got it.
As Phil wonders aloud whether the families can tolerate traveling together, Carissa nearly skips with excitement toward the starting line. "Brains, brawn, and teamwork," et cetera. And Phil closes with another death-defying eyebrow pop. Oh, I love you too, Phil.
The starting line is in the shadow of the Brooklyn Bridge, where all the families stand ready to leave. Phil explains about the tasks they'll have to complete, and about "many legs" (not in the "there are 80 individual legs standing around at the starting line" way, which is what I personally am obsessing over), and he says that there are seven elimination points. Another thing: this time, not only do you not have to pay for airline tickets, but you don't have to pay for gas. Interesting. Does everyone understand the rules? Austin nods with great seriousness. It's just about time to leave, so...we'll just have to see how this goes, is my thought. Once they get their clues from their luggage, they'll hop into a GMC Yukon XL Earth-Violating Irresponsiblemobile and take off across the Brooklyn Bridge into Manhattan. Phil says "one million dollars" and everything, but it's already not the same. "The world is waiting for you." Carissa stares resolutely. "Good luck...travel safe...[another eyebrow pop]...go!" I still love that part, no matter how much they unwisely fuck with the formula.
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