Episode Report Card Miss Alli: A | 543 USERS: C+ YOU GRADE IT Peru-ff beyond a reasonable doubt
By Miss Alli | Season 7 | Episode 1 | Aired on 2005.02.29
The famous Third Bus of Bafflement-Induced Delay rolls up to Playa Hermosa. Ray/Deana, Ryan/Chuck, Megan/Heidi, and Ron/Kelly (really bugging me with that "Former POW/Pageant Queen" label, bleh) get in rickshaws for the beach. Poor Ryan and Chuck are taxing their rickshaw guy a little bit, even before they start yelling, "Beep beep beep beep beep!" Which they do. And Ron and Kelly say, "Arriba, arriba," because they also? Watched cartoons. Deana has the nerve to comment on how pretty the beach is, and Ray says tightly, "It is. I agree. I'll appreciate it after we get over there." Dude. You are in a rickshaw. You can do nothing. You might as well enjoy it now, no?
"He ain't got but one gear, brother," says Ryan or Chuck to Chuck or Ryan. "We'll get out and run if we need to," the other one says. "Yeah, we'll pull it," comes the response. They're probably kidding. Oh, wait. They're not. Because the next thing you know, here they are, running alongside their rickshaw. Heeee hee. "The high side!" they call out as they pass. "Clear on the high side!" Oh, man. That is some serious comedy. And then one of them says, "Hop on! Ah'm about ta die!" So they do. You should always hop on before you die.
Debbie and Bianca comment that the clues are really buried in the sand. Debbie unearths a ticket first. It comes with a clue that explains that their flight will be to "the mountain village of Cusco," where, as Phil explains, they will find themselves at an altitude of almost 11,000 feet. When they get there, they'll get another clue. Back at the sand pile, Patrick finds a ticket. The teams also learn that the flight is in the morning, and they'll be spending the night on the beach. They note that only one other team will make the 6:00 AM flight, and they wonder who it will be.
Weeeeell, it just might be Rob and Amber, because here they come with Craig now. They hop out at the beach and run to the sand piles. Because two teams are in front of them who are already done, and because the 6:00 AM pile has already been dug through, Rob concludes that it pretty much has to be the earliest one, which is giving other teams way too much credit, but of course, he's right that this should be the case, provided the other teams checked. I suppose with other teams hot on their tails, it might have been a worthwhile gamble. Rob and Amber dig, and are surprised to be joined next by Ray and Deana, whom they know were on the first flight to Lima and should rightly be ahead of them. Now, these two teams are in a dig-off for the last 6:00 AM ticket. Megan and Heidi come next, and Bianca or Debbie yells out, in that way women do when they're trying to disassociate themselves from women they've decided are less cool than they are, "Go, blondies!" Yeah, "blondies." Right out loud, to their faces. Nice. Megan and Heidi run right by the 6:00 AM pile just as Rob finds the last 6:00 AM ticket. "By the skin of our teeth," says Boston Rob.